Pyonizme of My Life

SICK PERVERT

2006-06-18T20:24:00.000+10:00

SICK PERVERT
GUYS DONT EVER EVER EVER EVER GO TO BOXHILL ALONE AGAIN!

some SICK PERVERT just ruined my whole night.
i was sittng there in teahouse waiting for my dinner.
and was spacing out at the window.
and i saw this horrible horrible HORIBBLE THING
a guy all in black
WIGGLING HSI DICK, DICK I TELL YA, at me
AT ME!

IT WAS SICK I TELL YA

i keptlooking away and
he kept WAITING FOR ME to look back at him
..
which i stupidly did
i thought he went away already
and i was still in my spacedout mood

AND HE WAS STILL THERE
waiting with his DICK OUT OF HIS PANTS

and wiggle it everytime anyone ANYONE look at him

SICK

and he ran away when the restaurant owner went out the back door
he just ran.

..

i am scarred for life

*runs off crying*

boredom struck

2006-06-12T17:18:00.000+10:00

Went for another karaoke session yesterday! Finally managed to drag Andy to the karaoke bar. Hahaha. 'Twas fun and all, but it had to end eventually. Andy couldn't stop singing. She sang in almost every song even when she had no idea whst she was saying.That was funny.

TICK TACK BABY
KICK MY BOOTY

Go randomness!

Anyway, Just found a couple of days a go that Jason Mraz is coming back to Australia!! Almost die out of shock. Well.. 7th of August people!! ANYONE 18 OR OVER INTERESTED IN SCREAMING AT MR. A-Z WITH ME?? Andy sould be able to come, she doesn't look younger than 18. Let's just hope that they don't ask for IDs. But I'm sure they will ask for some IDs due to my 'young' look. PFFT.

So, I've been trying to listen all of JAson Mraz songs in my playlist. Man that's a bit hard, coz I have lots of bad quality live songs of him. I can;t make myself to like them when all I can hear is people laughing at hisawesome voice. Meh. I WILL TRY AND MEMORIZE ALL THOSE SONGS. Muahaha. Also I feel the need to take lots of photos with him. Hug him and NEVER LET GO OF HIM. ..well, might as well right? Since I can't marry him. :P

He's too old, and he use too complicated phrases for my little brain to understand. *REALITY CHECK* sigh, I can't marry a genius who is 10 years older than me. Damn.

And note that his ex-girlfriends was a model. So, obviously I, some random 19 y/o chic who doesn't even look like a young girl hitting pubetry, won't have a chance. SIGH. But I'm still aiming for getting our photos taken together. MEH.

OMIGOD. I'm so bored.

omfg, incest!

2006-05-20T13:48:00.000+10:00

I've been reading Oedipus rex in ENglish. Man, that's one twisted story. How can a guy marry his own mother?! I mean, sure he didn't know that she was his mother. But still, it's YOUR MOM. AGE difference?? HELLO?? And he even had kids with her. Talk about a major yuck.

"Hey kids, I married ur mom. I'm ur dad. But apparently I'm your brother also"

Eew.

Seriously gross guys.

...

Despite the grossness of the story, I might just do my text response on this book. I like Gattaca but I think Oedipus rex could give more marks. That's what my English teacher said anyway. And yeap, I need to sudy mroe for my english. I need at least 28 to get into my desired course in uni. Sure, it might not sound hard for you guys. But english is my poorest subject. I hate writing those fudgine ssays. I just hate it. As much as I love reading books, I hate text responses. When you read a book, you just read it. You don't need to write any crap about it. It strsses me. Stresses me mroe than maths. I think I'm more confident in Maths now. Argh. I like maths, but i gave up on it. Australia's standard is way too different from Indonesia, and teacher is crap. So, I have to learn my math in my own time. And yet, it's the subject I have most of my faith on.

Visom and art is amazingly stressful! Viscom folio is due in 2 weeks (start counting down from now) and I'm way behind in Art. So lost in everything. ARGH! I have a very dark future.

I put up Top Arts poster next to my computer. It's my motivation. But somehow, it makes me feel depressed. Those amazing artworks... staring at me.. O_O

NOOO!!

curhat sejenak

2006-05-14T22:09:00.000+10:00

dah lama ga blog pake bahasa indo? hmm. not in mood for caps either. lol.
akhir-akhir ini, minggu-minggu ini, hari-hari gw selalu diawali dengan sesuatu yang bikin seneng. ataw kalo ga seneng, yah sesuatu yang 'ok', as in ga nge-bete-in. tapi ujung2nya selalu ada yang bikin naik darah. bikin bete. bikin sedih. dll. dst. dsb. aduh. dipikir-pikir jadi makin bete gw.

ok. pngen cerita deh soal hari ini.

hari ini koko tiri gw ulang tahun. trus, karena dia ulang tahun ade tiri gw ga maw ke gereja. dan dia beli kue gitu bwat kokonya. aww, how sweet, you may say. call me a cynical bitch, tapi gw merasa itu perbuatan yang agak ga pantes. kalo diinget-inget, tu anak selalu sok ngasi sesuatu yang spesial ke kluarga or temen yang ulang tahun. tapi. iya ada tapinya. ngga ke gw ataw ke sodara2 gw.

'ga kasi selamet ke koko?', dia nanya ke gw gitu tadi. hmm, males ah. trus dia nanya kenapa. yah,alesan gw sih simpel aja. waktu gw ulang tahun dia ngucapin ga? ngomong aja ngga. sori aja ya kalo gw ngirian. tapi emank salah kalo gw pngen diperhatiin pas gw ulang tahun? salah gw pngen diucapin? bokap gw aja ga ngucapin gw pas gw ulang tahun. masa mereka expect gw bwat inget dan be happy for them pas mereka ulang tahun? bokap gw akhirnya ga gw ucapin selamet. cuman nyelipin nama dia di msn nickname gw. soalnya dia juga berbuat hal yang sama waktu gw ulang tahun. tapi tetep aja, no birthday wishes. salah ya gw pngen diperhatiin sama bokap gw?

satu lagi yang bikin gw empet.

waktu gw ulang tahun. ade tiri gw dua janji bwat pergi bareng sama gw. akhirnya dia ga maw ikut. kenapa? maw nemenin koko nya yang ada di rumah sendirian. i mean, come on. he's not some 3 year old kid, he's almost 30 for goodness sake. turns out that, mereka pergi makan2 di gerejanya koko tiri gw. wah. gila asik banget ya. kalo gw yang ulang tahun, ga terlalu penting dan boleh aja ditinggalin pegi makan-makan ke gereja orang lain yang bukan agama sendiri juga. tapi kalo orang lain yang ulang tahun. bela-belain ga gereja.

amit-amit jadi manusia munafik banget.

well. i hope you get my point.

gw uda ga tahan tinggal di rumah yang ngakunya keluarga gw tapi memperlakukan gw kayak anak buangan yang pantes diajak ngomong juga ngga.

Geek In The Pink

2006-05-12T19:03:00.000+10:00

omg, I had a dream about JASON MRAZ last night.. LOL. It was the best dream guys. Hahaha.

Enjoy!

Geek In The Pink
by Jason Mraz

well let the geek in the pink take a stab at it
if you like the way I'm thinkin' baby wink at it
i may be skinny at times but I'm fat full 'a rhymes
pass me the mic and I'm a grab at it a
well isn't it delicious crazy way that i'm kissin'
this baby listen to this don't wanna miss it while it's hittin'
sometimes you gotta fit in to get in
but don't ever quit cuz soon i'm gonna let you in but see

i don't care what you might think about me
you'll get by without me if you want
well i could be the one to take you home
baby we could rock the night alone
if we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
but sugar don't forget what you already know
that i could be the one to turn you out
we could be the talk across the town
don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
you might regret what you let slip away

Like the geek in the pink
Well like the geek in the pink, yeah
The geek in the pink

well this relationship fodder don't mean to bother nobody
but cupid's automatic musta fired multiple shots at her
because she fall in love too often that's what the matter
at least I'm talkin about her keep my pattern of flattery and a
she was staring through the doorframe and
eyeing me down like already a bad boyfriend
well she can get her toys outta the drawer then
cause i ain't comin' home, i don't need that attention, see

i don't care what she might think about me
she'll get by without me if she want
well i could be the one to take her home
baby we could rock the night alone
if we never get down it wouldn't be the let down
but sugar don't forget what you already know
that i could be the one to turn you out
We could be the talk across the town
don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
you might regret what you let slip away

hey baby look at me go
from zero to hero
you better take it from a geek like me
well i can save you from unoriginal dum-dums
who wouldn't care if you com...plete them or not

so what I've got a short attention span
a coke in my hand
because i'd rather have the afternoon, relax and understand
My hip hop and flip flops well it don't stop with the light rock
my shot to mock you kinda puts me in the tight spot
the hype is nothing more than hoo-hah so
i'm developing a language and i'm calling it my own
so take a peek into the speaker and you'll see what i mean
that on the other side the grass is greener

i don't care what you might think about me
you'll get by without me if you want
i could be the one to take you home
baby we could rock the night alone
if we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
but sugar don't forget what you already know
that i could be the one to turn you out
we could be the talk across the town
don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
you might regret what you let slip away

like the geek in the pink
well i'm the geek in the pink, yo
Geek is the color for fall
i'm the geek in the pink
So i'm the geek ya'll..In the pink ya'll..
Geek is the color for fall
I'm the geek in the pink

sumthin i stole

2006-05-04T19:07:00.000+10:00

aduh maaph lupa diganti.. ^^;

from my cuz's LJ.. :)

1. Put numbers in the boxes instead of x's (example: 1, 2, 3, 4, ...)
2. Repost as "I have lived through ____ of these 158 things."

[1] I have read a lot of books.
[ ] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[ ] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[ ] I have been to Canada.

[ ] I have been to Europe.
[2] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[3] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[4] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[ ] I have been snowboarding/skiing.

[5] I have played ping pong. (And I suck at it)
[ ] I swam in the ocean. (I'm scared of it)
[ ] I have been on a whale watch.
[6] I have seen fireworks.

[7] I have seen a shooting star.
[ ] I have seen a meteor shower.
[8] I have almost drowned.
[9] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.

[10] I have listened to one CD over and over and over again.
[] I have had stitches.
[ ] I have had frostbite.
[ ] have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
[11] I have stayed up til 2 doing homework/projects.
[12] I currently have a job.
[13] I have been ice skating. (LOVE IT)
[14] I have been rollerblading.
[ ] I have fallen flat on my face.
[15] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[16 ] I have been in a fist fight.
[ ] I have played videogames for more than 3 hours straight.
[17] I have watched the power rangers. (GO! GO!)

[18] I attend Church regularly.
[19] I have played truth or dare.
[20] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[21] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[22] I've called someone stupid.
[23] I've been in a verbal argument.
[24] I've cried in school.
[ ] I've played basketball on a team.
[ ] I've played baseball on a team.
[ ] I've played football on a team.
[ ] I've played soccer on a team.
[ ] I've done cheerleading on a team.
[ ] I've played softball on a team.
[ ] I've played volleyball on a team.
[ ] I've played tennis on a team.
[ ] I've been on a track or cross country team.
[ ] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[ ] I've bungee jumped.

[ ] I've climbed a rock wall.
[25] I've lost more than $20.
[26] I've called myself an idiot.
[27] I've called someone else an idiot.
[28] I've cried myself to sleep.
[29] I've had (or have) pets.

[30] I've owned a spice girls CD.
[31] I've owned a britney spears CD.
[ ] I've owned an N*Sync CD.
[32] I've owned a backstreet boys CD.
[ ] I've mooned someone.
[33] I have sworn at someone of authority before.
[ ] I've been in the newspaper.
[34] I've been on TV.
[ ] I've been to Hawaii.
[35] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[36] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[37] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[ ] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.
[ ] I've watched the 3 stooges.
[38] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[39] I've watched Looney Tunes.
[ ] I've been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers.

[40] I've been called a geek.
[41] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[42] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[ ] I've hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs.
[ ] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[43] I've met a celebrity/music artist.
[44] I've written poetry.
[ ] I've been arrested.

[45] I've been attracted to someone much older than me.
[ ] I've been tickled till I've cried.
[46] I've tickled someone else until they cried.
[47] I've had/have siblings.
[ ] I've been to a rock concert.

[48] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[49] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've been picked last in gym class.
[ ] I've been picked first in gym class.
[50] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.

[51] I've cried in front of my friends.
[52] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
[ ] I've played Halo 2.
[53] I've freaked out over a sports game.
[ ] I've been to Alaska.

[ ] I've been to China.
[ ] I've been to Spain.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[54] I've had a fight with someone on AIM.
[55] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[56] I've had serious conversations on any IM.

[57] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.
[58] I've been forgiven.
[59] I've screamed at a scary movie.
[60] I've cried at a chick flick.
[61] I've watched a lot of action movies.
[62] I've screamed at the top of my lungs.
[ ] I've been to a rap concert.

[ ] I've been to a hip hop concert.
[63] I've lived in more than 2 houses.
[64] I've driven on the highway/been on the highway.
[65] I've driven more than 40 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 40 miles in a day.
[ ] I've been in a car accident.

[ ] I've done drugs.
[66] I've been homesick.
[67] I've thrown up.
[68] I've puked on someone.
[69] I've been horseback riding.

[ ] I've filled out more than 10 myspace surveys.
[ ] I've spoken my mind in public.
[70] I've proved someone wrong.
[71] I've been proven wrong by someone.
[ ] I've broken a leg.

[ ] I've broken an arm.
[ ] I've fallen off a swing.
[ ] I've swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight
[72] I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies.
[73] I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school.

[ ] I've lost my backpack.
[ ] I've come close to dying.
[74] I've seen someone die.
[75] I've known someone who has died.
[76] I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point.

[ ] I've done modeling.
[77] I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.
[78] I've taken something/someone for granted.
[ ] I've realized how good my life is.
[ ] I've counted my blessings.
[79] I've made fun of a classmate.
[ ] I've been asked out by someone and I said no.

[80] I've slapped someone in the face.
[81] I've been skateboarding.
[82] I've been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend.
[83] I've lied to someone to their face.
[84] I've told a little white lie.

[ ] I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane.
[85] I've fainted.
[86] I've had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.
[ ] I've pushed someone into a pool.
[ ] I've been pushed into a pool.
[87] I've been/am in love.

Total = 87

--

My newest vector art. please comment ne~
Did this with Adobe Illustrator.

formal night~

2006-04-30T12:44:00.000+10:00

FINALLY, the formal was on Friday night. Everyone looked FANTASTIC! It went out preety smoothly I reckon. We arrived a bit late with a limo. Guess that's what they called "fashionably late". Hahaha. Nah, we got late because me and Priya was too slow. :P We drank some champagne on the way, Andy and me got a little bit tipsy. She was like full on laughing and smiling to everyone. Lol. She went around the hall and took pictures with alsmot everyone.. XD

Anyway, the food was alright I guess, I didn't get to touch my lovely dessert though(chocolate cake and ice cream!!) because we were waiting to get out photos taken.

Ara~ we then went back to Andy's house for our own little after party. Drank some Bailey's :9

We didn't get drunk but I was too tired to stay up the whole night, and went to sleep at around 3 or 4.

In the limo~

Me, Jann, Lil, Dineli, Sangeeta and Andy

Oli, Mel and Me

More photos can be found in my Multiply page and my MSN Space.

ara.. my 19th birthday

2006-04-25T12:06:00.000+10:00

hahaha. As you can see, I've been lazy in updating this blog again. And eya, I changed the layout again. It had the same image but different layout. OKAY?! No more scrollbars. I got sick of the last layout really fast btw. Anyway, the 16th was my birthday. I turned one year older at that day.... 19.

Lol.

Wanna know something sad? Well, out ot 11 people that agreed to go out with me on my birthday, only 2 came up! But then 2 moe showed up (I didn't know they were joining us)

Well, I'm too lazy to tell the story. Just go here for the story and some photos.

So yea, I started the day feeling like crap, but it ends up pretty nicely.

new layout, again

2006-04-24T23:49:00.000+10:00

've been trying to change my layout, but blogger won't let me do it!

Tell me if it's changed already, coz i can't see anything at all.

one of my new year's resolution

2006-04-13T22:46:00.000+10:00

i won a contest! :D a small one but i had fun.. lol XD

shopping spree for art freaks

2006-04-08T20:44:00.000+10:00

Went to the national gallery with her. Bought some awesomely cheap postcards. Hehe. I actually needed the postcards as reference pictures for my Art SAC on Monday. Had some fun watching a convict playing this really weird music on a big screen (hehe), bought a new green bag from Duchess (it was only $5!! O_O) and a new top from JayJays (I think it's becoming some kind of a habbit, she and I always buy the same thing now, haha). I also bought a fineliner paper pad and a calligraphy brush. Damn that brush was really expensive!! But I still want them!! Grrhh.

There were lots of interesting stuff in the gallery. We were going to see the Top Arts exhibiton, but nyeah, it's not on yet. So we went and see the commonwealth contemporary art thing. It was pretty good. We saw this really cute sculptures made out of paper. It was cool, yeah, until we saw what kind of paper they used to build them.. IT WAS AMERICAN DOLLAR NOTES!! Gah.. The things people do for the sake of Art. Makes me feel even more poor.

Anyways, I wanna tell you guys about this newly found bishie called, Koike Teppei. He is so cuteee~~ XD kyakya! Lol. He's gonna be starring as Ohtani, the short guy from Lovely Complex on the new upcoming Lovely Complex Movie!! OMIGOSH! I just can't wait! Just look at his dreamy face of his and DROOL! XD~ Why do I feel like I'm 15 again? *faints*

BTW, people please congratulate her! She got a job! YAYAYAYAYYAYY!! Hehehe. *wink*

13 year old sis

2006-03-23T16:34:00.000+11:00

My youngest sister is 13 today!!
WOOT!

Happy birthday sis! all the best for you!

March is full of birthdays. Lol. And April too. *cough*16 april*cough*

hahaha.

Holiday will be over in a few days and I'm still slacking off my homework. What is wrong with me?! I've been trying to avoid all kinds of work (kayu, photokicho, school!) It's official people! Pyon here has no future. T_T

Decisions, decisions

2006-03-22T11:56:00.000+11:00

So, since I haven't update my blog for a very very very long time, I'll give you some re-caps of my life. Right now I'm in the middle of the end of term holiday. Which was put earlier due to the Commonwealth Games. Nyah. Everything seems to be faster these days.

Oh well. I've been spending my holiday with these 2 things:
1. Work work work.
2. Formal formal formal.

By working, I mean washing the dishes and wearing myself off. As in, washing dishes til 1 am in the morning. By formal, I mean went around Melbourne to find the perfect dress for the formal. Result is NIL!

It's very very hard to find a formal dress that would fit me perfectly. I'm too fuzzy. I'm too short. I'm too small and I have a flat chest.

...

ARGH!! The formal is on the 29th April! I'm starting to think that it's not worth it. Maybe, I just shouldn't come. But but but but, I missed my own prom in Indo. I just have to go to this formal. T_T

It's such a waste of money though.

Alas. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

:P

All of this formal hustle is making me no good. I have been neglecting my holiday homework because of it. *DAMN YOU FORMAL!* I need to catch up on 14 pages of Viscom and I just need to actually start something for my Art.

*goes off crying*

Lick it clean!

2006-03-22T00:25:00.000+11:00

Yeah! New LAYOUT!! WOOOTT!!!

I am back!!

The layout is inspired by her new layout. Hahaha. Yes yes, she's the trendsetter. It's very simple and clean. Lol. I only use one header image and one background image. What do you think?

Oh, and ignore the scrollbars people!

--

and..

A VERY BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY WISH FOR EPHIE!

I'm a lil bit more in love with u
Each morning when I wake up
I'm a lil bit more in love with u
Every time you say my name
I'm a lil bit more in love with u
every day and every year
Happy birthday sweetheart..=)

love u still. :)

Quizzes

2006-03-21T23:07:00.000+11:00

..stolen from here. Hehehe. Just a lil update tilI finish my new layout. :) It's gonna be quite different from my usual layout. I'm trying some sporean style. Hehehe. They have great taste in design.

Music Quiz

Directions:
Go to your iTunes/media player/WinAmp and put it all on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud, and after each one press play.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.

1. What do you think of me?
Bad Day - Daniel Powter (erm, prolly fits the part where I always feel like I have a bad day.. oh well, whining is love. lol)

2. Will I have a happy life?
Pelangi Di Matamu - Jamrud (Doesn't really have anything to do with the question? waddya think? I can't really tell if this is a happy song or a sad one)

3. What do my friends really think of me?
Sekali Ini Saja - Glenn Fredly ( WTH?)

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Frankie J - More Than Words (lol. yea, more than words! this quiz doesnt work that well for me.)

5. How can I make myself happy?
Semi Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind (Something else, maybe? :))

6. What should I do with my life?
Waiting For Your Love - Stevie B (WOW! yea spend my the whole lifetime waiting for ur love. =p)

7. Why must life be so full of pain?
She Loves You - The Beatles (because she loves you.. xP)

8. How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Close To You - The Carpenters (I have to get close to you.. haha.. OKAY!)

9. Will I ever have children?
Second Chances - Michelle Branch (o_O)

10. Will I die happy?
Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton (i guess i don't belong in heaven)

11. Can you give me some advice?
Akhir Cerita Cinta - Glenn Fredly (his song came up twice. but it hasn't really answer any questions)

12. Do you know where your children are?
Have A Little Faith - Mandy Moore (the answer is no)

13. What do you think happiness is?
Yellow Submarine - The Beatles (I'm starting to think that my playlist is really weird)

14. What's your favourite fetish?
Happy People - R. Kelly (blarh)

--

Your movie star double is Reese Witherspoon
A space cadet (in the nicest sense of the word) like you needs to be played by someone who has her own rosy outlook on life, someone who is completely loyal, someone who is unbelievably endearing, someone like Reese Witherspoon.

Whether she's lighting up the stage as the dreamy darling in The Importance of Being Earnest, or pushing passed her blonde image in Legally Blonde, Reese's perfect for the part of someone who's seemingly clueless at times, but oddly intuitive when it matters most (even if we know that in real life she's a clever cookie).

Maybe you sometimes get preoccupied when people are talking around you, but who cares if you jump back into the conversation with a slightly bizarre comment or two? It just means your mind has been wandering in interesting places. You, like Reese in her leading lady roles, probably prefer to dedicate your full attention into the things that give you the most joy: your friends, your family, or a cause you're dedicated to. But ultimately, that's part of what attracts people to you and why they love having your good heart and supersensitive brain around. And that's also why Reese Witherspoon would be a box-office hit in the movie of your life.

Who's Your Movie Star Double?

Brought to you by Tickle

Johari Window

2006-02-17T21:29:00.000+11:00

Click here if you still want me to blog.

...

pretty please?

The Designer

2006-02-02T22:13:00.000+11:00

I'll write down something that had been stuck in my mind almost the whole day today.

Today was one of the most memorable first day of school. I don't know why. At first I thought today was gonna be the worst first day of school ever. The teacher didn't have enough diaries to give out to me, lost my timetable when the classes hasn't even started, forgot I was one of the girls in the first cleaning duty and so on. But in the end, I felt that it was actually pretty good!

I had my first VisCom and Art classes today. Both were taught by the same goofy teacher. He said some stuff that actually appealed to me. He said something about the difference between the artist and a designer. The artist has more control on their work. They can do whatever they want to express their emotions and messages to the society. On the other hand, a designer, is commonly being hired to do stuff. Their work are not as free or as expressive as the artist's work. Their work is done according to the client. There is someone controlling over their talent.

A fantastic painting are always followed by their artist's name. For example, "Monalisa" by Leonardo DaVinci. Artists are recognized for their works. People can sometimes identify the artists of certain paintings for their distinct style and approach.

What about a designer? Is a really good design can actually be recognized by people? Take the Nike example. The tick. Who created the tick? Does anyone actually knows? What about the McDonald's 'M'? They're all famous logos. People recognized them. But does anyone ever knows who came up with them? Probably a very very good designer that get paid millions for the logo. But then, those people would be called 'The' designer. A fantastic designer who is successful can probably be recognized by people like an artist.

I always thought of myself as an artist, but my dream job is to be a designer. I am well informed on how different those two are. But I haven't really thought about my job. What if my client wants me to do something that I don't like? I won't be able to reach my full potential and I won't be able to be the best designer. They won't like my stuff. But I have to do it. I have to be able to fulfill their request.

It made me think. I want to be the designer. A designer so good that I can actually work with anyone, despite our different interests.

The designer.

Now that's what I wanna be in the future.

The designer.

:D

The biggest question of all

2006-01-25T00:21:00.000+11:00

Why do I never feel lucky at all?

I mean like in my whole entire life.

WHY??!?

:(

I need something to make me smile. I really do. Thanthan..... come here quiiicckkk... I haven't seen you for years (literally!!!) T_T

Holiday Homework

2006-01-19T22:07:00.000+11:00

WOW. After a looooong break of suffering in a restaurant, washing dishes and cleaning toilets, I managed to finish some of my holiday homework. Although I did a few pages of my Art homework (fill in an A3 sketchbook), but that doesn't count, because it's not even half finished yet. SO, me and my sis went to school yesterday, to pick up our new school books. I only had like 5 books (lol) and 4 A2 sketchbooks (which was a pain in the ass). My sis had like big stack of thick books (General Maths, Math Methods and Legal Studies) and 2 A2 sketchbooks (I'm so happy for her, coz she's finally able to do Art!!). They put the 6 sketchbooks altogether in a big plastic wrap, which was suppose to help us to carry it. Turns out, NOT (well, a bit). We had to literally atop every 5 minutes or every 2 metres, to stop and catch a breath before started walking again. Yes people, we had to walk on a very very hot day (around 30 degrees celcius) with SIX sketchbooks and bags of thick schoolbooks (for my sis). In the end, I had to carry the sketchbooks and my sis had to carry the other books. Well, she is stronger than me, so I guess that was fair. Cause there was no way either of us carry the sketchbooks AND a bag of other books. It's (for us) humanly impossible. Lol. Exaggerating is always fun.

After traveling for 2km, struggling with painful hands and sweaty underarms (lol), we managed to reach our next destination, my workplace, a Malaysian restaurant. My bosses looked at us with a really weird expressions. Well, we were carrying 6 sketchbooks. Anyways, we had lunch there and then my sis had to run for work, and so I was left there with all the stuff.

...

Hey, this doesn't have anything to do with the title at all!! OK then, I'll fast forward to it.

I've got most of my books now. They're all new and dandy. I forgot about the second hand books that I ordered. I don't know what happened to them, but I guess I have to go back to school and ask someone about it.

I started to read the book "I'm Not Scared" by Niccolò Ammaniti. Apparently he was a quite popular Italian author, and the book was an internatinal best-seller, it had also been made to a movie in Italy. I was reading the novel the whole day. Unlike most students, I actually like reading books and novels. This one was quite interesting too. It's just that I hate writing essays about books and stuff. When I read a book, I read it just for enjoyment. Giving me questions about how the boy thinks about life doesn't mean a thing to me, it would just make the book less interesting for me.

After I read a few pages, I started to get into it. I couldn't stop reading it. I'm a nerd, hence. The only thing that made me stop reading it was just Mel (who was eating lunch with her sis, and I was just sitting there with the books) and sometimes, my phone. I had myself slipped into another world where Michele had his little adventure. Unfortunately, due to my limited vocabulary of Italian thingo, this book confuses me quite a lot.

It was a story about Michele, a 9 year-old Italian boy who likes to play around with his friends. One day he found an amazing discovery in a deserted farmhouse. It was so momentous, he didn't dare to tell anyone. He found another boy, chained to a wall in a hole behind the farmhouse. At first he thought it was a corpse, since the boy didn't even move or make a sound when Michele fell on top of the hole (which was covered by something I forgot ^^;), but then he found out that he was still alive and he became friends with the weird boy.

Apparently, the boy was a rich kid, and he was kidnapped for a ransom. Poor little guy. He was treated like a dog! Anyway, as I followed the strange story line, I found out that the kidnappers were actually the adults of the village where Michele was living, and that includes his own parents. Michele was so shocked when he found out about this, but he forced himself to forget about the poor boy coz one of the guy in the village caught him when he was playing with the boy (because his 'best friend' who was the only other person who knows about the boy snitch on him. THAT LIL DICK! and I thought he was the only sane boy in the village!!) and his father wanted him to forget everything about it. And so he did.. try to forget about him. He couldn't though. After he heard that the adults were gonna kill the boy (they didn't get the money), Michele went and freed the boy. The poor boy managed to escape, but Michele sprained his own ankle and had to stay behind in the hole. Then someone came with a pistol. It was his dad.

Guess the ending.

His dad shot him. And that was it. THAT WAS IT!!! Can you believe it?! That was it!! The last lines on the novel was:

And there was papa.
And there was me.

THAT'S IT!

DAMMIT!!! I fudgin hate cliff-hangers!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYY???!!!??! I wanna know what happened to Fillippo! I wanna know what happened to the other kidnappers! I wanna know what happened to Michele!!!! GODDAMIT!!!

*breaths*

"I'm Not Scared" was a, surprisingly, good novel. I mean like, for a book that you had to read in English classes, it's a 7.5/10. It could have been 8 or 9 if I could understand the whole story plot, or if they change the goddamn ending!! Our essay would probably to make our own happy ending.

*sigh*

For the rest of the homework, I did the first exercise from the first chapter of my Maths book, finished my viscom homework, and... that's just bascially it. I need to.. I NEED to FINISH my SKETCHBOOK.. *cries*

about blogging

2006-01-17T22:01:00.000+11:00

Lama gak update.

Do u miss me? Hehehe. Most prolly no, because I don't really ever blog like a blogger. I don't write about my point of views on political issues or stuff. What I do is write junk stuff about my own personal life. Mostly complaints and whining about how unfortunate my life is. WELL, my life has never ever been a fairy tale story. Though I would always wish to have a happy ending eventually. I feel like I suffer to much. (there I go again)

Anyway, I went to this website which consists of 2 interesting blogs and some other blogs that I don't really care about. Well, the first blog (Sepatu Merah) is a personal blog of this former blogskins friend of mine. Well, we met in blogskins a couple of years ago, swap blog addresses and then she just disappeared without any trace. I had always admire her designs. Simple, yet appealing. She is now a teacher in some university out of town. WOW. Yeap, and her blog has a very personal touch into it. I love to read how she feels and how she reflects on herslef through her own words.

The second blog is called Kamar Cewek. It's actually a group blog by the same person I mentioned above and her other friend who is also a very talented blogger. The blog is about girls, about how girls think and act towards ordinary issues in their lives. Read it folks, it's quite interesting. Some of the posts can actually relate to your own experiences in life (if you are a girl). It feels like you're reading your own thoughts online.

Well, those blogs have equally deep meanings for both the readers and the authors, I bet.

After that short browsing, I went to some other blogs. My other friends' blogs and some other random blogs that I read regularly.

Honestly, reading them makes me feel BAD. I wish I could write those kinds of posts. I want my writings to appeal to other people. I feel so like shit. T_T I DO!!! Oh well, I promise I'll update more often with more meaningful posts.

Other than that. Do you think I should write in Indo or English? Man, I'm so really confused right now.

BTW, I think it's time for a new layout!

I miss my blog

2006-01-02T13:28:00.000+11:00

YES! YES! I really do miss my blog.. ^^; Surprisingly I have enough time to think and update this blog today. Yeap, I owe Jannette 4 friggin layouts!! I feel bad for Jannie.. ^^; But..well.. Situations aren't really supporting for me to code some shit. Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I spent my NYE in the city, standing with the other thousands of Australians beside the Yarra river waiting for the fireworks. The fireworks was, of course, prettier than the ones I've seen before. Especially if you compare them with the ones in Indo (which would prolly be over after 3 big yellow sparks in the sky). So.. The other reason I wanted to update this blog is..... to make some ner year's resolution. A bit late, coz it's already the @nd of January 2006. But it would still be valid...right? You have the whole damn year to fullfil it anyway.. Hehehe.

Before I start my new list, I wanted to check my old resolutions for last year.

*goes off to another window to check last year's post*

...

Oh well, seems like I forgot to update my blog last year. ^^; Meaning, I ddin't have any resolutions. Hahaha. Ok, maybe I should go and check the year before last year.. ^^;

*goes off again*

Wow, I have some funny resoltuions for 2004!! haha, I'll reflect on some to keep up on last year then. So these resolutions goes for 2 years, 2004 and 2005. ^^; If you get what I mean.

My new year's resolutions:
1. Be more optimistic
2. Be more open-minded
3. Be more calm and in control of myself
4. Getting into a relationship (this isn't a resolution ya?)
5. Make a better grades
6. Kurangin muna sama orang lain
7. Kalo bisa ilangin muna
8. Less fighting
9. More mature
10. Stop talking in harsh words
11. Start wearing skirts...
12. what else.

See?! Wow, lol. That was my new year's resolution from 2 years ago!

My new year's resolutions:
1. Be more optimistic (I think this one was half fulfilled)
2. Be more open-minded (Check out the banner on the upper right of my blog!! YAY!)
3. Be more calm and in control of myself (Umm, not sure about this one)
4. Getting into a relationship (this isn't a resolution ya?) (YEAHA! lol)
5. Make a better grades (Well, my grades was alrite in 2005)
6. Kurangin muna sama orang lain (pas di indo sih uda bisa terkabul, begitu pindah ke melb.. I gotta tell you, itu SUSAH BANGET! masi pd kayak anak2 disini.. mreka rata-rata belom bisa jujur sama satu sama lain.. I'm turning back into a 16 yo bitch!)
7. Kalo bisa ilangin muna (hahaha)
8. Less fighting (well..)
9. More mature (Happy to say I feel more mature than 2004.. lol)
10. Stop talking in harsh words (Maybe we should just forget about this one ^^;)
11. Start wearing skirts... (Definitely fulfilled)
12. what else. (yea wat else?)

Wow, I was really bad at making resolutions. ^^; Anyway, here's my new list of new year's resolutions for 2006!! (in no particular order)

1. Save enough money to buy a ticket to Jakarta and some more to spend on shopping there.
2. MORE MATURE!! You're 18 now!! You're gonna be 19 in 4 months!! ACT LIKE YOUR AGE!
3. Try to actually keep your promises to everyone! (especially Jannette)
4. Keep coding for Photokicho.
5. Get a decent ENTER score f0r at least 85. To prove that art students aren't stupid.
6. At least, finish 3 sketch books for uni folio.
7. START learning how to drive a damn car.
8. Go to an All American Rejects show if they ever wanted to go back here.
9. Win something from a contest. Any contest. *ambitious mode on*
10. Learn how to cook something. Learn how to cook better.
11. Save enough money to buy a tablet!!
12. Straight As for at least one subject in one semester.
13. Get accepted for the TOP ARTS 2007 exhibition. To win it if possible.
14. Create more original art.
15. Reach my 10,000 hits for my DeviantArt account!!!! I have to work hard for this one.
16. Find a better job.
17. Look for a better job that would prolly let me have enough money to stay with Than".

That's it I guess. Too much to expect from just one year. ==; I really want to reach number 13. Oh, God, it's 13 the cursed number!!! Shit, is this a sign that I won't be able to make it. Guys, I'm telling you this is a serious coincidence situation!!!!

...

I'll add one more resolution.

18. Be less superficial.

There! I am done! *big smile*

wow, im still breathing

2005-12-27T14:10:00.000+11:00

yeap guys, i am still breathing, alive enough to type this entry, but not alive enough to continue writing regularly to this blog.. lol.. anyway..

i wanted to wish u a late HAPPY XMAS wish and an early MERRY NEW YEAR'S wish.. XD

hope u guiys had a ball on ur xmas and yea.. GBU all!

Photokicho's new layout

2005-11-24T16:46:00.000+11:00

We have a new layout up! Check it out!

YAY!

2005-11-23T16:14:00.000+11:00

Today was our last day as year 11s. People were so... sensitive about it. They actually don't want to go to year 12! CAN U ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT? =p I was like, "YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!" and they were like ...crying. ^^; seriously, even Andy was in denial. Lol. It's funny though. Hehehe. But I'm just really glad I'm FINALLY moving on. =) I just can't wait to go to uni.

Anyway, today at our last assembly (yes yes, so sad), there were awards given for the top students from eevery subjects and homerooms. Exciting. hehehe. Well, Jann received FIVE FRIGGIN AWARDS for the academic excellence, and one for that homeroom award. It's funny. It looks like the teachers were sick of her name. Hahahaha. Just kidding Jann! XP

Oooh, and I've got an award too! :D so very very exciting.. XDXD I've got the award for Art. ^^; But I'm really happy I've got that, that means that someone acknowledges my talent. Someone actually NOTICE ME! ...my art teacher. Lol!

Anyway, I'm just happy. We're going to a new stage of our life. We should all give our best for it. =)

kata orang

2005-11-19T15:03:00.000+11:00

..designer itu ga penting! Uda cari duit susah, ga dianggep dan ga perlu2 banget di sebuah perusahaan. As in, itu cuman jalan hidup yang dipilih orang karena males dan emangga punya kelebihan lain. That is a fukkin bull! Maaph de ya sodara2, tapi ini topik paling sensitif bwat gw. Gw paling ga suka kalo orang neghina2 pilihan hidup gw. Bwat gw, itu uda mimpi gw, tujuan hidup gw, dan gw rela hidup dengan pilihan gw itu. Gw paling ga suka kalo mereka ngeremehin gw. Mereka bakal bilang hal-hal kayak, "Jangan ambil design deh, miskin loe ntar, susah cari kerjaan" or even worse, "Art itu cuman buang2 duit aja, ngapain sih?" Kalo kata2 yg kayak gitu uda keluar dr mulut mereka. BEHHH!!! ..jangan harap gw bakal maafin loe.. Tanduk dah kluar tinggal nunggu api kluar dr tenggorokan aja neh.

Sekarang coba loe2 pada pikir deh. Apa bener designer2 dan orang2 art itu ga dibutuhin di dunia? Apa bener designer tu cuman profesi yang dipilih karena otak ga kuat mikir buat math? Coba loe pikir lagi sekarang, seandainya dunia ini ga ada orang design, ga ada orang art, kira-kira kita bakal tinggal di dunia yang kayak apa????

Nih gw kasi list, hal-hal paling simple ke hal-hal yang cukup rumit, KALO DESIGNERS DAN ARTIST ITU GAADA DI DUNIA:
1. no anime or manga, no cartoons, and no Mickey Mouse.
2. no cute tops, no FASHION!
3. no movies! no hot actors or actresses!
4. no computers, goddamit!
5. no cars, no racetracks, no aeroplanes.. HMMM (uda mulai mikir blom??)
6. NO TV!!
7. no fancy phones, NO IPODS!!!!
8. no fancy food, as in makanan itu juga diatur dan di-design sedemikian rupa biar kelihatan menarik.. nah taw ga?
9. no sexy stewardesses.. =p
10. no design, no advertising, in conclusion LOE SMUA ORANG2 COMMERCE BAKAL NGANGGUR TAW GA??

Get it now? Seperti kata than2, smua yg di dunia itu saling berhubungan, klo loe ngilangin salah satu aspect di dunia, termasukd esign and art, dunia bakal ga seimbang, bakal hancur! Smua yang loe banggain skarang ga bakal ada lagi!

Umm, yea, art is basically the centre of my life, so don't mess with it, or there will be even another angrier post than this! :P

pixel mood

2005-11-15T19:27:00.000+11:00

COME ON PEOPLE! It's really not that hard to click a link under my previous entry! T_T You people make me sad..

Newest pixel! This one is an entry for QueenOfDorks fanart contest! :) My first animated pixel, so do comment... PUHLEASE!

PEOPLE, READ AND COMMENT!!!

2005-11-11T16:24:00.000+11:00

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad. I promise not to come after you either way. ;)

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your LJ and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

haha. Stole this one from Corni's LJ.

READ AND COMMENT!!! or else..

muaahhaha.

crap, exams, crap!

2005-11-10T16:41:00.000+11:00

Dang. My exams starts tomorrow. Fufufu, and like any other delinquent (XD), I'm still in front of my computer, browsing through DeviantArt and chatting on MSN. Muahaha. Hey, it's not my fault that they're really addictive. :P

Anyway, I have my English Language exam tomorrow morning. BAH! I love English language. Like in love. I love the teacher, Mrs. Archibald cracks me up sometimes, she's funny and nice, but sometimes really scary. I like the topics that we're discussing. I am actually interested and wanted to learn stuff. Hehehe. BUT. I can't do this subject next year!! HOW FRIGGIN SAD! :P It clashes my first fave subject, Viscom. I like Viscom better than Art rite now. But those 3 re my most fave subjects. Teehee. Anyway, language, yes, as much as I like this subject..I DON'T WANNA DO THE FRIGGIN EXAMS! T_T I just can't be bothered to revise and all that shit. ^^; I am like the laziest person on earth. Hehehe. Exaggerating like always.

There are just too much stuff to memorize, and like there will be an essay question too!! NOOO!!! I really hate essays. Even tho, I have to do essays for every subjects I do (except geography, but let's not count that as my subject). Nyah. And I'm gonna have o do more essays for ESL next year. DAMN! I WANT MY LANGUAGE BACK!!

In case you're wondering, English language is this new kind of subject wher you study the language and not like normal English, you don't have to read books and write essays and stuff (which is GOOD). I mean, I like reading books, but I really don't like reviewing it.. I don't like to write this text response thingy. It's just really annoying. ^^;

CRAP, EXAMS!! CRAP!

i like swearing.

--

Oh, I've been collecting these really sweet and cool quotes from the internet. So like, from now on I'll finish my entries with a quote.. :D Hopefully it has something to do with the post. But it really depends on my mood. Bah. So, here you go.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it's about learning how to dance in the rain"

i miss indonesia

2005-11-06T00:23:00.000+11:00

yea yea, i know indo is a crap country, but i still love it! OKAY?!

gw kngen banget berada di jakarta, ngabisin waktu nomat murah di bp, ke gramedia pim, fotobox rame2 sama temen2.. XD gila, gw makin lama makin ngerasa jauh banget dari kota kelahiran gw.. Emank sih, it;s not the best place, tapi sebagian besar kejadian2 penting yang pernah terjadi di dalam hidup gw itu terjadi di jakarta! Maw gmana lagi donk? Maw ga maw, gw kngen.. Ga kngen sama abang-abang and asap metro mini tapi ya.

Gw kngen jaman2 SD waktu kita tiap minggu sok bergaul ria ke PIM. ABG banget ga tahan gw ingetnya. Inget banet tuh dulu, kita pada bermarkas di rumahnya Dona trus brantem sama tukang bangunan tetangganya.. hueheuhue..

Gw kngen jaman2 SMP dimana gw lagi gila2nya sama Harry Potter and The Moffatts! Inget pertama kali liat Rupert Grint.. X3 he was as dreamy as ever. Hehehe. Trus DAVE MOFFATT. Ga taw lagi apa yang musti gw omongin soal dia. Orang yang pernah temenan deket sama gw (kira2 pas gw umur 11-15th) pasti taw kalo gw cinta mati sama ni orang. Walopun sekarang dia itu gay, gw masih admire dia. :P

Trus jaman2 jadi rebel, sok2 badung. Sok2 maw kabur pas ulangtahun karena orang rumah gaada yang inget. Bete aja kalo ingetnya. AKhirnya pulang juga karena ga taw maw kemana. Tapi pulang sengaja telat ampe agak malem. Huhuhu.. Inget pas gangguin cewe2 yang lagi latihan cheerleader. Nyalain lagu Teenage Dirtbag gede2 biar mereka keganggu. Gw merasa dulu gw ga dikenal dan agak dibenci sama mereka. ^^;

Trusss lanjut inget pas masa2 SMA. Gila jama2 kegelapan dimana gw mulai ganjen. Ini akibat bergaul sama PC and Wully. Lebih tepatnya lagi sih ya si PC. Lol. But I'm glad I was friends with her. Bikin ge merasalebih confindent. Hehehe. Inget banget deh jaman2 satwa, tweepsie, tripstwo! Ga bakal gw lupain. TM skolah yg dulu gw nyesel banget masukin, sekarang jadi skolah yg ga bakal gw lupain!!

Sekolah yang ngajarin gw ga norak. Skolah yang ngajarin gw kalo narsis itu sehat. Huahahah!!!
Thanx to that school, gw ngerasa gw lebih berprinsip dan lebih percaya diri (terdengar sperti iklankah? XD)

Well, smuanya happen di JAKARTA. Damn it, i wanna go home.. T_T

send me homeeeeeeeee

trying to cure my hatred to the world

2005-10-30T13:00:00.000+11:00

Life is wonderful
by Jason Mraz
get it here!

it takes a crane to build a crane
it takes two floors to make a story
it takes an egg to make a hen
it takes a hen to make an egg
there is no end to what i'm saying

it takes a thought to make a word
and it takes a word to make an action
it takes some work to make it work
it takes some good to make it hurt
it takes some bad for satisfaction

la la la la la la la life is wonderful
ah la la la la la la life is full circle
ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
al la la la la

it takes a night to make it dawn
and it takes a day to make you yawn brother
it takes some old to make you young
it takes some cold to know the sun
it takes the one to have the other

and it takes no time to fall in love
but it takes you years to know what love is
and it takes some fears to make you trust
it takes those tears to make it rust
it takes some dust to have it polished

ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
ah la la la la la la life is full circle
ah la la la la la la life is so full of
ah la la la la la la life is so rough
ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
ah la la la la la la life is full circle
ah la la la la la la life is our love
ah la la la la la

it takes some silence to make sound
it takes a loss before you found it
and it takes a road to go nowhere
it takes a toll to make you care
it takes a hole to make a mountain

ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
ah la la la la la la life is meaningful
ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
ah la la la la
it is so wonderful
it is so meaningful
it is so wonderful
it is meaningful
it is wonderful
it is meaningful
it goes full circle

about my life and the bitch of my life

2005-10-30T12:22:00.000+11:00

yes, life is boring and meaningless.

kadang2 gw berpikir kalo hidup itu gaada gunanya.. yang kita hadepin tuh cuman kemalangan. Karena kita ga bisa dapet semua yang kita maw dan biasanya kita mendapatkan sesuatu yang sebenrnya kita sama skali ga maw (model "amit-amit jabang bayi najiz ga maw bgt gw")

Saat ini gw merasa kalo gw tuh orang paling ga beruntung sedunia. Gw merasa hiduo gw tuh ga punya purpose. Gw ga merasa ada orang yg butuhin gw. Gw suka mikir sendiri, "Seandainya gw udah gaada di dunia ini, syapa aja yg bakal nangis bwat gw? Syapa aja yang bakal sedih? Syapa aja yang bakal seneng karena gw pegi?"

YES, I AM THAT PATHETIC.

Hidup itu membosankan. Ga ada yang menarik. Dibilangnya sih hidup itu kayak roda. Kadang kita ada di atas, kadang kita ada di bawah. Sayank sekali roda kehidupan gw tuh sering macet pas gw lagi ada di bawah. Maw ga maw, gw digencet ampe rata dengan tanah. Makanya hidup gw ga pernah balanced antara baik dan buruk.

Orang yang paling gw benci di dunia ini bilang kalo gw tuh adalah "an ungrateful person". Now tell me bitch, what am I suppose to be grateful for? For having you poisoned every inch of my Dad's brain? For having him hate me? For having myself so far away from everyone that I loved?

Damn you bitch, damn you. You cursed my life so badly that I am now more sinful than everyone. Fuck u.

...

2005-10-13T22:32:00.000+10:00

I still can't belive that she's gone. I can't get over it .. :(

I made a deviation dedicated for her..

Click

Rest In Piece my friend

2005-10-12T19:04:00.000+10:00

I don't have much to say on this entry.

A friend of mine died in an accident yesterday. I am still a little crushed right now. I can't believe she is gone. We were friends since primary school. I still remember how we used to play together, how we wrote secret letters to each other, how we share stories about our crushes.. It's just so hard to believe that she is gone. Even though I haven't talk to her or seen her for a very long time. She was a very good friend of mine. I don't think we ever fought. She's always kind and happy. She has this funny expressions on her face when she's telling story. She seemed to be strong, but deep inside she's very sensitive. And she's not afraid to say what's on her mind. She's smart and friendly. She's a brave and independent girl. She's a good friend.

I'm gonna miss you. I will miss you. I will always remember our friendship. I'm sorry if I was too lazy, too sarcastic, too ignorance to care about ur friendship. I'm sorry. I will never forget you.

I'm sorry I don't have a better picture of you. But I hope you'll always be happy in where you are right now..

www.photokicho.com

2005-10-09T18:36:00.000+10:00

YAY! Photokicho have its own domain now! XDXD Change your bookmarks to www.photokicho.com!

God, I am so excited.

Oh, and we have this new client, YaySports. Their layout is in the coding process. Would take a little whil to have m everything set up. But it would be good. I hope. :P

Anyway, check out their website!

HAPPY 20 MONTHS!

2005-10-03T19:32:00.000+10:00

I'm in a completely differnt mood from the last post. ^^;
Mood swing, that's me! Anyway, just launched a brand new group blog! I dunno if it's for publich though. We're still thinking about it. So yea.

am i selfish????

2005-10-02T11:28:00.000+10:00

Am I selfish for being worried?
Am I selfish for getting mad?
Am I selfish for waiting to hear from you all night and ruin my whole day after that?
Am I selfish for wanting you to care about my feelings?
Am I selfish for wanting you to understand??
Am I selfish for thinking about you?
Am I selfish if I want you to be honest?

AM I SELFISH FOR THOSE REASONS???

not in mood at all

2005-10-01T11:07:00.000+10:00

die.die.die.die.die.

feel like killing someone.

My holiday is coming to an end...

2005-09-30T21:28:00.000+10:00

Yes, it is. I have exactly 50 hours and 30 minutes left!

And I haven't finish all of my homework! *cries* I've finished my textile write up, my art exploration, and my.. umm, well that's about it. I still need to get my Geography homework done. The problem is I don't even know what my hw is! And like no one can be bothered to help me. Well, Naomi won't help me obviously. She just can't be fucked. Blah.

Oh! AND I have my Indo oral EXAM on Monday! It's starts around noon, but I can't be bothered to get up early and go to school. I'll just take the day off and bring a note the next day. After all, I am taking an exam.

*sigh*

OMG!! I HAVEN'T DONE VISCOM!

*cries for more*

--

more pixels! Tee hee.

The second angel devil series! Thought I should give em more attitude.. ^^ The angel is singing, btw.

This is MEEEE!!!!!! Ohmagod, u know what???
When I was pixelling this, I realized that I have a really bad fashion sense..

feeling all pixelly and nostalgic

2005-09-28T21:51:00.000+10:00

I tried to start pixelling again. Even though I barely started before.. ^^; this time I made somethingmore.. 'me' so yeah, hopefully, my new hobby can be an advantage in the future. So, I am here to show off some new pixels I made.. hehehehe.. just drop me a comment on what do you think about them.. :)
So the are the angel/devil series. The idea came from my sis, actually she requested them. There will be more coming up! Angels with raibow coloured hair..hehehe! My sis faved the devil one. I wanna make another devil with short hair! ;D

These are the fruit juice series. I know, what a lame name! I was gonna make some cola can thingy, but it turned out..well, really different. The first one is strawberry juice, the second one is Melon juice (:P) and the last one is orang juice! :)

Uh, random love heart with wings and halo.. :P kinda look like Clamp's trademark.

Yes, this is for her!The one with in orange was the first version o her, but then I changed it to the second one, because her hair was actually bron and she wants a green jumper. But her eyes are not really blue, I just thought she would look cute with blue eyes, besides I love blue. :P

And this is the last one. It's my sister! LOL. She wants me to make her a bunny rabbit but I just can't be stuffed making animals right now. So I made her this instead.

---

Been chatting and catching up with an old friend from my old school in Indo. Feels really nice to actually know that someone really misses me. haha. Anyways, she is in some kind of a dillema. She just broke up with her boyfriend, who had been with her for like almost 3 years. There;s something wrong with the guy, and none of us know what it is. I feel really sad for her, I thought they were gona be together forever. And like both of them helped me and my bf a lot. Man, I don't want them to be separated.

quiz

2005-09-26T23:47:00.000+10:00

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Haha. Wow.. :P

new layout

2005-09-22T16:37:00.000+10:00

NEW LAYOUT!!

WOO HOO!!

like it?

please comment.. lol

bittersweet of blogging life

2005-09-22T13:43:00.000+10:00

Don't get me wrong, but I LOVE BLOGGING. It;s been an obssesion since I was in year 7, which was lik almost 7 years ago. Yeah, I've been blogging for that long. Man, time always makes me feel old. Especially when I'm surrounded with people who are younger than me.. (school friends and even indo skool friends) And for that amount of time, I've been changing my blog address several times (3 times to be exact, and that doesn't include my other joint blogs with my friends.. I'm a blogger freak, I know).

I've tried so many blogging software. I've had 2 Livejournal accounts, 2 Diaryland's account, 2 pitas accounts, 2 Xanga account, one on friendster and right now I'm still learning to use the Greymatter blogging software. In total I have about 20 blogs! whoa. My first and my most active account is of course the Blogger one. See, I am totally addicted with this online journal thingy.

At first, I only wrote stupid entries about how bored I am, how suck the school is and some bits about my crush at that time. Sounds like a silly writing of a little girl to me! Hehehe, yes I was a silly teenie bopper too, you know. And yea, my blog grew more serious and I started to write in English all the time. I want to have people for all around the world read my blog and I want to share my thoughts with them. Most of them are nice, yea gotta love the fame. LOL!

But things always never been as good as it seem. My blog started to appear in Google! and my Dad found out about it. He gave my link to everyone.. (how sad is it?? I know) My ex started to read my entries. OMG! It was disaster man.. And like I was bitching about someone in my blog, and that someone actually read it and start bitching about me in her blog! And there was also this one time when my cousin found out about my blog, and I was actually talking like a snob about her.. (I still feel bad..SORRY!) And I think my Dad read about my personal love life from my blog, and also about how I felt about our so-called family.

Yea, I was furious. This is my blog I can do anything I want here. I can write anything I want. I don't want some stupid hacker reading my entries and start bitching about me or think of me as a weirdo. That's why I don't want this blog to be isible in public. I'll keep it as secretive as it is. No family members should know about my blog (with the exception, my cousin). Only approved friends can have this link, and they are not allowed to spread my address in their blogs without my permission.

This entry is dedicated to my friend, who is currently have some troubles with being honest in his blog. I hope you can get things straight and you can blog in free again! Even though sometimes I'm harsh at him, but he;s still a good friend. So just try to be more fast thinking and stop being so slow about everything. Hehehe!

"It's your right to have your thoughts written and be published on the internet, but it's also other people's right to comment on your thoughts. If you don't want people to know about your private life, then don't give out your address so easily. This might be a tough choice, but it's just the way it is. That's what I had about blogging, it's either to be famous or forgotten. I prefer to be forgotten and live in peace.".

amagad, holiday!

2005-09-18T12:09:00.000+10:00

Yeap! Today is the second day of my 2 weeks term holiday! YAY!!! You have no idea how happy I was.. But yesterday, I realize I was bored! Can u believe it? It's the first day of your holiday and you're bored already? WTF?

I was left alone in the house yesterday. My step bro and sis went to work, like all day. So yea I was left alone.. doing nothing at home.. I felt so pathetic.

Anyway, today Jcka invited me and my step sis to go and see her baby again and she will treated us lunch too. Sounds good rite? But no one wants to come with me, and like ker house is so far away.. :(

little rylee shea

2005-09-12T21:10:00.000+10:00

Yeap, as I promised. Photos of my new baby nephew.. :)
I hope his existence in this world can make a huge change in my family.

Me and baby Rylee.

Baby Rylee sleeping.. He's so damn cute! X3

See, everyone loves him.

Awww... look at his face.. hehehe

My sister and her baby.. :)

special entry dedicated to

2005-09-11T22:07:00.000+10:00

MY NEW BABY NEPHEW! :D

His name is Rylee Shea Sims.

Will post photos on the next entry! XD

tagged! ...well, not exactly but.. :P

2005-09-11T11:55:00.000+10:00

Write 20 random facts about yourself then tag the same amount of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts. If you're tagged its your turn.

1. I can't stop blowing my nose today.
2. I'm sick. T_T
3. I'm very very skinny.
4. I love Tasty Jacks Chips!! i love chips..
5. ..and chocolates.
6. I'm 18 but I look like I'm 13.
7. I have a bittersweet relationship with my whole family.
8. I'm not innocent, and tend to say that a lot.
9. I love HTML.. OMG, I'm a freak.
10. I will never experienced a prom nite
11. I like to scare people, but I really hate to be scared. :P
12. I really really really hate horror movies.
13. I got kicked out of a liquor store once because I didn't have my ID with me.
14. Internet is where my real life is. :P
15. I like making friends, but I think I'm really bad at it.
16. I don't believe in sex before marriage, but sometimes I think of myself as a pervert.. Hahaha, you guys have no idea.
17. I wanted to be remembered by my friends, so badly that I don't mind being remembered as a weirdo.
18. I love taking photos of myself. And my friends.. :P SO YOU COULD BE REMEMBERED!!! :P there's nothing worst than being forgotten. Coz I've been forgotten once and it will never happen again!
19. I have a secret wish to be a famous person.
20. I hate essays.

Time Spent: 7 minutes
Tagging: Budiaman (when you finally figure out what tagging means), Thania, Delin, Any people who wants to be tagged.. :P Coz I don't have enough blogging friends to be tagged.

a gift for you people..

2005-09-08T21:04:00.000+10:00

...if you're interested.

It's Jason Mraz's Wordplay! :P

I'm just copyiong what she did in her blog.. lol

indo postin

2005-09-03T15:32:00.000+10:00

Tadi siang baru aja SAC 6, oral test bahasa Indonesia. Jadi skarang gw post pake bahasa indo aja okae?? :P

Hari ngerayain 19bulanan! Gw and dia punya sistem buat gantian ngucapin tiap bulan. ~~Bulan lalu uda giliran gw, jadi aturan hari ini giliran dia. Tapi kayaknya tu anak dah lupa lagi sama gw. Jam segini blom ada kabar juga.. Sedih bener ya jadi gw. Hidup ga pernah bener.~~ :P

Trus apalagi ya? Ho-hum.

Minggu depan pr textile pada due. Jadi minggu ini musti dedikasiin waktu buat ngerjain. Walah, males banget. Gilink! Kok gw merasa jadi kaku banget ya ngpost pake bahasa Indo (bukan maxud bragging, lagian apa yg maw di brag juga org bhs inggris juga masi sering ngaco.. :P) Parah juga.

Akhir-akhir ini ge ngerasa otak gw makin tumpul. Ga taw knapa tapi kayaknya skarang dipake bwat mikir susah bgt! Apa gara-gara gw jarang belajar ya? Kebanyakan bikin tugas art.. Sial banget kalo gitu. Soalnya walaupun gw bukan orang paling pinter satu dunia (or satu kelas :P) gw ga termasuk orang yg susah belajar ataw ga bisa fokus. Malah dulu gw blajar sebentar juga bsia masuk (walopun dikit, tp lumayan dpt 6-8) Skarang kok kayaknya mikir bwat yg sepele aja susah banget (contoh: oral test indo.. T_T) Jadi agak nyesel juga milih pelajaran yg art smua..

Ngomong-ngomong soal art, gw juga musti bikin essay bwat outcome. Argh! Paling males deh art theory. Bosen bener.. Untung topic kali ini soal caricature, jadi lebih gampang. Gw cuman perlu orang bantuin gw nyusun kalimat.. ^^; In this case, gw nyembah ni anak dulu. My mentor, my teacher, my friend, my sis! ;)

Gw pngen banget nih ganti layout... Uda bikin berapa biji ya di photoshop? Yang di code uda 2! Tapi blom ada yg gw pasang. Saking malesnya gw ngupload gambar! Payah.. T_T

Special tag: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY COUSIN!!!

im an egoistic person

2005-08-28T14:09:00.000+10:00

Yes, I am such a selfish person! T_T I think about myself too much, and I forgot how to consider someone sles's feelings. This is bad. I'm sorry..

an outcast

2005-08-25T21:29:00.000+10:00

I feel like an outcast in my own world. No one understands me anymore. No one could care less, I don't even wanna care about myself anymore. Die, die die.

Whoa, 3 entries in one day. This is a record!

Anyway, life is boring. So I'll just go to bed. And hope that I don't ever have to get up and face the mean world ever again.

perceptions about diaries

2005-08-25T18:37:00.000+10:00

I did something really bad yesterday. And it has something to do with Diaries. lol. Not telling.

Today in English class, we talked about diaries and how people write their hearts out in it. It made me think immediately about my blog. My secret blog that is, this one. Anyway, diaries as they always say, are an instrument of thought. A place where you pour all of your thoughts and consciousness into words. To keep memories of your life. Some people don't agree with diaries. Because sometimes, diaries are only kept some part of our lives, some parts where our strongest emotions showed their existence, where you can't control your mind and let your evil side pour through your words. That is like SO TRUE.

But I do feel having a diary is some kind of a good thing. I believed your diary (or in my case, blog) could give you some sort of way to judge yourself, to look at your life differently. I mean like, for example, if I read through my blog, I could see that I am a whining and always angry person. Lol. That is somehow true. But I could also see, by the way I have my thoughts written here, how my feelings were stirred. I mean, I'm not the best writer, but I think I'm pretty successful in evoking anger and empathy in my friends' head. Hehehe..

A diary is a secret thing where you should allow yourself to be free. To express all of our emotions and feelings. To keep memories of them. It's like your memory store room. :P

dear you

2005-08-25T18:19:00.000+10:00

Dear you,
I missed you so much. Days are passing without you by my side. It feels so weird, to be so far away from you but hasn't been able to get you out of my mind. I don't want to though. I love you. I can't wait to see you again.

Love,
Me.

--

Dear you,
I'm really happy to hear about the good news. You're coming to see me! Life seems beautiful again. I really really missed you. I still feel a little awkward, having to go everywhere without you. My phone feels lonely though, everything is expensive and we rarely talk to each other anymore. I love you.. And I promise I will never forget you!

Love,
Me.

--

Dear you,
How come you never contact me as much as you used to? I didn't mean to sound annoying or demanding, but for me hearing news and stories from you is the only way to keep me happy. Please don't forget me.

Love,
Me.

--

Dear you,
Those things you said to me that day. That was really hurtful. I never knew you could say something like that. Why can't we have our old relationship back? I missed you. Don't you miss me? I love you.. Don't you?? Please reply back.

Love,
Me.

--

Dear you,
I don't understand you anymore. You've changed so much. What's happening between us? How come I feel like you're lying to me? I don't know what to think. I really don't. I can't even feel your love anymore. Like everytime you say that you love me, I can only hear words that I know you don't meant. Why? I still love you...

Love,
Me.

--

I feel sad.

lost stuff

2005-08-21T11:20:00.000+10:00

Well, I know I am a very forgetful person. I am very careless, and I tend to lose my stuff so easily. (like my precious handphone) But this entry is not about me losing some more stuff..

He lost his wallet!! OMG. Why am I the one who is panicking? Argh. Maybe it's because he put all of our photos together in his wallet, and if he lost that wallet, that means.. *poof* no more memories of us. Since I am convinced that he lost the book, or he's too lazy to physically open the damn book. I'm just scared that he might forget about me. It might sound funny to you, but seriously, I really don't want him to forget about me, about what we had. God, I sounded like a paranoid. I just don't want to be forgotten. That's all.

Even then , when he still had his wallet, he rarely remembers me. Lol. That was a funny sentence. It's the truth though, at least that's how I felt.

T_T

I'm sad.

--

Aside from that, the step monster bought me a jacket yesterday.. I know, WOW that's even more rare. But yea, she bought 2 skirts & 1 coat for herself, and another coat for her daughter. But I'm still glad, it's been like years since I bought something. :P

rip thiss off corni's LJ

2005-08-16T14:33:00.000+10:00

Pick 10 fictional characters you'd like to sleep with and then tag 5 friends.

1. Ron Weasley (Harry Potter, as if u dun know him)
2. Cody Banks (Agent Cody Banks)
3. Seth Cohen (OC, where have u been living man?)
4. Souhma Kyo (Furuba)
5. Noah Calhoun (The Notebook)
6. Shinpo Ichi (Parfait Tic, even though he's stupid)
7. Li Syaoran (Cardcaptor Sakura, I am not a pedophile..)
8. Peter Parker (Spiderman, the movie not the comic)
9. Tenma Kurou (Love Monster)
10. Landon Carter (A Walk To Remember)

List five songs that you are currently digging... it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the five songs in your blog. Then tag five other people to see what they're listening to.

1. Bad Day - Daniel Powter
2. DARE - Gorillaz
3. I like to move it song from Madagaskar
4. Endlessly - B4-4
5. Melt With You - Jason Mraz

I tag (even though no one really reads this):
1. Thanthan
2. Budiaman
3. Jan whenever u start ur blog
4. anyone really
5. yea anyone

more nightmares

2005-08-16T14:16:00.000+10:00

I haven't had a good night sleep for days now. I always woke up in the middle of the night, checking my phone for the time and then get back to sleep.. And I got up an hour late. What is wrong with me??? In addition to my stupid sleeping behaviour, I have had nightmares about ther step monster, 2 nights in a row! I had like 3 nightmares this morning! All of em based on a same kind of story and problem, but it has like different endings and all of are bad bad. WTH?? I was like waking up at every end of those nightmares. It's like watching a really bad movie over and over again. She was always the bad guy, and I was always the victim. I 've gone mental in one of the nightmares. LOL!

Anyway, I think those nightmares are the results of having so many work to finish. Yeah, I'm procastinating again. I can't even be bothered to change this blog's layout. I have the new layout in my computer. I just need to finish coding it. Hmm, but then again, I have heaps of layouts to code for Photokicho. Blah, I'll do non-school stuff next weekend.

Oh, almost forgot. More photos from my webcam. ;)

A small progress

2005-08-16T14:02:00.000+10:00

On my attempt to get a job. I received an email from Coles Myer. I had to take this online assesment test. It was sort of like an IQ test, lol. Oh, and one of them is called the Work Preference Test. It's a test to know what kind of work you prefer to do or what kind of work you should do. Here's a little something from it.

The Figure shows that relative to the other categories, you are quite likely to have preferences for work that largely involves the application of creative or innovative thought to accomplish the work, the physical use of the hands to get things done, engagement in the promotion and sales process, contact and interaction with others and working with numerical information and concepts.

well, DOH!

lol

webcam wonder

2005-08-05T18:16:00.000+10:00

I am in such a happy mood! :D

FINALLY.. we can chat on MSN.. FINALLY finish reading harry potter 6.. FINALLY our skin is top rated in Blogskins. So many FINALLY in this post! lol. Anyway, I want to post this picture. My photos taken with my beloved webcam. Hahaha.. Pointless entry, eh? But I have to post something, so people would wther I'm still alive or not. ;)

i am poor

2005-07-30T22:18:00.000+10:00

Yea yea, went out with the girls form indo skool (my lovely childern, hehehe) It was Jocelyn's birthday party!! Happy birthday (next Tuesday :P) Anyway, felt a lil bit awkard cause we couldn't blend in with her other Chinese friends. Not our fault really, we didn't know how to speak the language..Hehe.. excuses excuses!! ..and we were too busy laughing at practically everything! Anyway, that was fun. Played lots of interesting and fun games.. :D I recorded some fun moments in my handphone. Hahaha!!

Then we went to the city to take some photos. We are all a bunch of narcissistic people who loves to take photos. Lol. At first, the girl in charge said that it's gonna be like more than $40 dollars. I was like WHAT? Then I showed her the brochure she had on the cashier area, showed her the part where it says 20% off til 31st July,blabalbla. And the she rang her boss, and she said it was her mistake, the brochure thingy was still valid. YAY! We get a discount! The photo shoot part was also fun! We used stuffed animals and feathers as props.. Hahaha.. :P Then we got into fights when we were deciding which photos should we print. Fun, fun. But as always, I'm broke, I am POOR. THen I have to owe one of them again. How embarassing. How pathetic.

stole this from cornelia

2005-07-27T18:38:00.000+10:00

10 years ago; I was 8. My younger sister was 2 and she was really cute. Lol. I dunno wat to say.. :P

5 years ago; I was 13. Was in my junior high skool, being friends with some of my closest friends.. Love em till death!

1 year ago; Last year? Hmm.. It was both memorable and sad. It was the best year ever, but then I have to leave Indo and move away from my beloved friends and bf..

yesterday; Started as a good day, but ended in a really bad way

tomorrow; I'm going to watch Macbeth! and will try to be happier..

5 snacks i enjoy; tasty jacks!! sushi? mint slice.. chocolates.. and um.. fries!

5 bands/artists that i know the lyrics to most of their songs; The Moffatts, Avril Lavigne, All American Rejects, Hidell, Simple plan

5 things i would do with a $100,000,000; ill put half of it in the bank, spend the rest for shoppping and go to indo.. :) hahaha.. wat a life!! ill take the people i love the most to a trip to venice!

5 locations i would like to run away to; Indo, Venice, Spore (to than2 and nnx!), my friend's house, i dunno somewhere

5 bad habits i have; very very lazy, procrastinating, crack my knuckles, forget stuff so easily, swearing

5 things i like doing; online, make graphics and blogskins, read a book, draw stuff, sleep

5 things i would never wear; a g-string?? strapless top.. very high heels.. a nose ring.. a mini dress

5 t.v. shows i like(d); OC, simpsons, raymond, malcolm in the middle, house

5 movies i like; the notebook, 10 things i hate about u, serendipity, newsies, sound of music, grease (thats 6)

5 famous people i would Like to meet; Avril lavigne, xtina aguilera, adam brody, frankie muniz, rupert grint

5 biggest joys at the moment; oma is here! i almost done my textile piece and hw! i know he still loves me.. (hah!) theres apossibilty of m moving out next year.. and um.. dinner is ready!

5 favorite toys; my computer and everything in it, my phone, my stuffed animals, my sisters when they are not annoying, adobe photoshop cs

5 folks to tag; andy (if u still updating ur space), thania, budiaman, jan (if u wanna start a blog), ephie (if u still remember ur password)

just as i thought

2005-07-27T18:16:00.000+10:00

Just as I thought. No one would response my angry post! Hah! People only commented on my sad posts. Lol. What an interseting fact..

Anyway, went to lunch and to the city with Oma today! XD~ me is feeling much much better than last night and this morning. Thanx to Oma! Hehehe.. I'm really happy to see her again. brings back old memories!

(Don't ask about what happened last night, I won't write it here. Just message me on MSN and I'll tell you. ^^)

So, I have been a really really bad girl these days. Maybe it has something to do with that stupid ladder. I have so many misfortunes lately. I can't believe it really happened. I really need to fix my life. Blah. Nobody have a perfect life, but mine's not even OK. Lol

"My friends are my real family" - Me. :)

fuck you bitch (indo blogging mode)

2005-07-24T20:59:00.000+10:00

Tai anjing bangsat bajingan ngt*t bangke bangsat bangsat bangsat TAIIIIIIIIII!!!!!

I just found out that Dad's wife keeps all this data shit of how much I owe them.

OWE???

OWEEE????!!!!

FUCK YOU BITCH!

I have reached my limit!

HOW IN THE WORLD DID SHE MANAGED TO CREATE THOSE DATAS???

THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO GIVE ME $100 PER MONTH! THAT'S MY ALLOWANCE! I ALSO HAVE TO PAY MY PHONE WITH THAT MONEY! MY BILL HAD REACHED MORE THAN 100$ ONCE! JUST FUCKIN ONCE! HOW THE HELL DID I OWE YOU BITCH? YOU ONLY GAVE ME LIKE $20 PER MONTH?!? OLD FUCKIN BITCH??!!!

NO WONDER MY DAD HAD BEEN ANGRY AT ME?! ME???? HOW CAN I OWE YOU MORE THAN $200???!?!?!

fuck

really?

2005-07-24T18:14:00.000+10:00

Listening: Robbie Williams - Beyond The Sea
Wearing: My tweety PJ
Thinking: "Wow, I haven't done this listening, thinking, wearing thingy for ages"

Do I really look that depressed? Hahaha.. Well, people! You really love me! I love you all too guys! I've been receiving feedbacks.. Hahaha, not usually happened before. But thank you for everything! Things are going better (I think). At least, he notices my absence on contacting him. Yea, I've decided if he doesn't wanna try then I won't either. It's not that I don't care about it anymore, I was just too upset to make the first move, blablabla.

Anyway, I have my first geography test tomorrow!! I better study.... but I don't like Geography! Argh, why did I pick that subject?? (Coz, you don't wanna do drama anymore? You don't want Cathy Newton to tail you? You don't like solos??) O yea thats right. Umm, I still wanna do my best for this test. Well, the reasons why I wanna do good on this test are because I like the teacher (she's nice) and I don't wanna have bad marks anymore.

damn you

2005-07-20T21:51:00.000+10:00

wanna know something's surprising and depressing?

Well, he just called me and he said he won't be able to call me that often anymore. Yea like you always contact me, huh?

over

2005-07-20T21:25:00.000+10:00

I watched the walls around me crumble
But it's not like I won't build them up again
So here's your last chance for redemption
So take it while it lasts, cause it will end
My tears are turning into time I've wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye

I can't live without you
Can't breathe without you
I'm dreamin' bout you
Honestly, tell me that it's over
Cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It won't be right if we're not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And I'll be the first to go
Don't want to be the last to know

I won't be the one to chase you
But at the same time
You're the heart that I call home
I'm always stuck with these emotions
And the more I try to feel, the less I'm whole
My tears are turning into time I've wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye

I can't live without you
Can't breathe without you
I’m dreamin' bout you
Honestly, tell me that it's over
Cause if the world is spinning and I’m still living
It won't be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And I’ll be the first to go, yeah, I’ll be the first to go
Don't want to be the last to know (over, over, over)

My tears are turning into time I've wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye

I can't live without you
Can’t breathe without you
I’m dreamin' bout you
Honestly, tell me that it's over
Cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It won't be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it's over
Tell me that it's over, over
Honestly tell me, honestly tell me
Don't tell me that it's over
Don't tell me that it's over

am i superstitious?

2005-07-20T20:56:00.000+10:00

Is that how u spell it? Superstitious? or is it superticious? dammit, I have a really really bad English!

Hmm, so yea talking about superstitious stuff (ill just say that, coz that's how i wrote it on the title), I walked under a ladder today. =_=; is that bad? superstitious people please tell me what will happen? This is bad bad timing for badluck. I know it's bad, but like in what way? Hmm.. Some people in my class even try to walk with their backs on the wall (the ladder was right in front of the computer room, and if you want to avoid walking under the ladder you have to stick to the wall. Stupid? Well, I didn't realize it was badluck, until one of my classmates did this funny walking while sticking to the wall thingy). Then I got scared about the badluck and I did the same thing when I exit the room. This might be the first time I did something so superstitious like. I remember I used to scare people by holding an umbrella inside the house (In Indo that brings badluck). But I also remember spending half an hour squating on my frontyard looking for a 4 leaves clover (that was fun)

So, I'm not sure if that ladder will affect my life. My life has already been a disaster.

nightmares and mindworks

2005-07-19T17:11:00.000+10:00

Yea, so I had this dream last night. No, wait.. Actually it was this morning, like right before I woke up to my alarm. So, this dream is...not really a dream. It's a nightmare. Yea, it's nightmare. I had a dream about my bf. So, I was finally back home in Indonesia, and I just arrived at my old house. I was hiding like behind a cupboard, to surprise my bf when he comes in to the house (i dunno why, but somehow I knew he was coming). Then he came through the door, I was going to yell surprise and then this girl came walk right behind him. And they were like all lovey dovey. I was like WTF?! But in my dream, I didn't really do anything, I just stood there watching them make out and I can't move, I can't say anything..I was like numb. I felt like I wanna die.. Sad dream.. T_T But then my dad caught them making out in front of the door, I was like HA! But then I saw the girl.. It was her.. Her!! Don;t be gross when I say this.. But she was .........................my sister.

@!#$%@#$%^&&^%$#!???!?!!!

So, my question is, what is up with that fuckin nightmare? It's been haunting me all day. I can't get it out of my head. That's like the most horrible dream ever... Anyway, I swear if that happens in real life, I would NOT just stand there and do nothing. I'll bitch slap both of them. Hell, I might just kick him on the crotch and leave him to die. You know, I'd be more hurt than him. Hehehe..

Anyway, referring to a comment I got on my LDR entry. I really think I need to get more in touch with my bf. I really do.

--

OK, change topic.

We live in a multicultutral country. Everybody here speaks English, of course. But some of them don't use English as their first language (like me). I've been thinkin about this. You know some Asian people or Indian people was born and raised in Australia, and you know most of them speaks their native language (Chinese, Viet, Hndi, watever etc.), you also know that they can speakk English very well too (at least most of em), but have you ever think about what language do they use to talk to themselves? LIke when they are thinking or talking to themselves. Which language do they use? I know I probably use Indonesian most of the times, but my Dad once said, "If you want to speak English fluently, you have to think in English". I thought, yea maybe that is right. Coz most times when I am talk to English speaking friends (hehehe), I have to think in English so I could response back in English. The words just flows out naturally from your mouth like I was speaking Indo. But still, if I have trouble in saying something, expressing myself, I would try to think of it in Indo... But then I always finds it hard. In the end, I didn't get to say anythin. Lol.

I asked my friend about this. My chinese friend, she speaks both Chinese and English fluently. She was born here in Australia and she has never been to China. I asked her about what language she used in her mind, and she said she used both. It's like she mixed it and come up with her own language. My Indian friend (born and raised in Australia also), said her first language is English, but she also talks in Hindi. ANd she does the same thing in her mind, mixing the languages and stuff. Come to think of it, I also mix the languages I know. Like when I want to say something in English and I can't finish my sentence because I don't know the English word of it, I'll just fill in the blank with an Indo word. My sister would understand that, but my friends won't.. :P

It's funny howyour mind works, isn't it?

what a random entry

2005-07-18T18:46:00.000+10:00

Hahaha.. So, I've decided which layout I'm gonna use next! It is inspired by Momiji from Fruitbasket, my current favourite character from that anime! ;) So excited to put it up. I've learned some new cool link effect, hope it works both fot IE and Mozilla.. :P Anyway, people u should check out Photokicho, we have new stuff (reviews and wallpapers! yay!!) and staff, my dear cousin Cornelia.

another preview

2005-07-17T12:35:00.000+10:00

of my new layout.. hmm..still using xtina as my model but.. hehehe.. pretty different from the previous layout i showed you..

long distance

2005-07-17T12:14:00.000+10:00

Long Distance Relationships (LDR) are never a good thing. It makes the couples feel more distant to each other, it makes them feel more insecure and it's really hard just to ctach up on each other's life. It's really weird you nkow, me and him used to spend like everyday together. We fight pf course, but we always found a way to made up. The first time I moved to this country, I feel really really lonely, it's as if something is missing in my life. I got bored way too easily and I spent too much money for my phone. Now it's been like 8 months since I moved. We don't talk to each other as much, we don't text as much, we don't chat anymore, we don't really know what's happening in each other's lives and we don't know what we both look like now. I dunno, it feels really really sad. I don't want to be a stranger to him, but I can't help being distant from him. It's really hard to catch up and keep up with his life. I also don't want to be a nosy and suspicious girlfriend that's always whining and crying about stupid things. I wanted to trust him (doh, it's like the basic thing in relationship), but it's really hard. I just can't trust him or think of him like I used to. Everything is so changed now, we're not as close as before, I can understand that.. But it makes me feel like this relationship is pointless, though I know it's not. But I don't really feel like I'm in a relationship right now. It's as if I'm a free bird and I can have anything I want. The problem is...I want him!! T_T

I trust him that he would never cheat on me. But recently, I feel doubt about that. What if he doesn't want to cheat on me, and there's a girl that keeps bugging him? What if that girl is the one that's been keeping him away from me? ..I dunno I'm starting to sound like a paranoid. It's just that I don't and I cant' feel safe. Is that so hard to understand?

Another example of a problem that might come up with LDRs. One of my friend moved to away earlier this year, and her bf is still living here, so they both have to face the LDR thingy. We all know her bf loves her very much. Recently we heard that one of my friend's friend is hittingon him, like..making a move to the bf. That sounds scary doesn't it? Coz like the third person it's their own friend.. What if that kind of problem happens to me?? No no no.. I trust my friends though..They would never ever do such things.. :P *ok pyon, calm down*

God does exist

2005-07-12T19:21:00.000+10:00

I joined this new fanlisting of Rupert Grint.. hehe.. XD~

--------------------
A man went to a barbershop to have his
hair cut
and his beard
trimmed..

As the barber began to work, they began
to have
a
good conversation.
They talked about so many things and
various
subjects. When they eventually
touched on the subject of God, the
barber said: "I
don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the
customer.

"Well, you just have to go out in the
street to
realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if
God
exists, would there be so many sick
people? Would there be abandoned
children? If
God existed, there would be
neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine
a loving a
God who would allow all ofthese things."

The customer thought for a moment, but
didn't
respond because he didn't want to start
an
argument. The barber finished his job and
the customer left the shop. Just after he
left the
barbershop, he saw a man in the street
with long, stringy, dirty hair and an
untrimmed
beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The customer turned back and entered
the barber
shop again and he said to the
barber: "You know
what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the
surprised
barber. "I am here, and
I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers
don't exist
because if they did, there would be no
people with
dirty long hair and untrimmed
beards, like that man outside."
"Ah, but barbers DO exist! " answered the
barber. "What happens, is, people do not
come to
me. "
"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's
the point!
God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is,
people
don't go to Him and do not look for
Him.
That's why there's so much pain and
suffering in
the world."

If you think God exists, forward this on to
other
people---If you think God does not exist,
just
delete it!

sneak peak

2005-07-11T21:03:00.000+10:00

..on my new layout. Hehehe.. Do you think I shud change it or not? please please gimme comments.. I know no one really reads my blog, but please please?

last day of my precious holiday

2005-07-11T13:55:00.000+10:00

The day has finally come. The last day of my holiday. I didn't do much during this 2 weeks holiday, but I rather spend another boring month doing nothing than go back to school. I don't want to go back. There are so many homeworks I have to finish (actually I only have one left, but there will be more if the school starts). I'm just not in the mood for school. I rather stay at home and study those PHP coding thingy (even though it confuses me to death). Stressing, really.

Well, since I'm bored and I couldn't finish my homework (because I need Martine to send me some pictures and she's not online yet), I decided to try this new blogger feature. Does this image uploading really works? Ooohh.. it does!!

How exciting, now I don't have to use Hello and Photobucket to upload and host my images. yay! Anyway, this is my new creation of 'art'. Hahaha.. Yea, just another thing I did when I was bored. 'Artistic Vintage' made in Adobe Photoshop 6.0

I really really want to make something with my Adobe Illustrator CS, but somehow I can't figure it out. It's just too difficult for me. I dunno why. It makes me feel stupid! argh. Maybe I should start reading the book that Dad gave me months ago (Illustrating with Illustrator CS). I guess I underestimate things too quickly. Just because it's in Indonesian, doesn;t mean the book can't help you. Hahaha. Well, I really need to be more openminded about my country. Besides, I just joined that Open Minded clique (look at the webband on the upper right) so I really should be open minded.

My eyes are sleepy. =__=

oh no

2005-07-06T12:16:00.000+10:00

..school is in less than a week!! cry cry cry..

Got into a sort of a big fight with my Dad over someting stupid last night. He was really pissing me off. I was like fully talk back to him! ARGH! He was irritating me! I was only showing him the new feature I had in Photokicho. And then he started talking about about me doing something illegal and that I can get sued by that. WTH?!?! I'm not that fucking stupid you know, and it's not like I stole them or anyting. We don't get money from hosting them anyway! @#$%!!! He was like, "Just don't drag me into your problem, I don't wanna have anything to do with that" WTF?! He is so making me MAD! He was also comparing the the law between countries in the world.. you know what? I don't give a shit. He was like, you're not in Indo anymore! people care about this sort of stuff, u can get sue, ur doing something illegal, ur stealing, ur making money out of people's work and shit. I was like what the hell, it's not that big of a deal! Then I told him I don't even like it here anyway. It makes me wanna kill something everytime I remember that I am still in my fuckin high school in the fuckin year 11. Fuck school. My friends are graduating and even some of them has already started their second year of college aka uni. And they're even younger than me. You would have NO IDEA how's it like to be graduating from highschool at the age 20, with no bad grades or a record for being held back for 2 years. I'm not fuckin stupid, then why the hell am I still in this stupid high school?! Then he goes,"I shouldn't have let you go out with your boyfriend at the first place. I really regret that" I was officially angry at that point.

WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH MY BOYFRIEND @#$%^&!!??!! Even if I went out with the president's son, I would still regret being here. Even if I went out with a piece of trash I would still regret the fact that I can't graduate with my friends! that I can't be in the same level with my friends anymore! that I have to do 2 years of high school all over again! YOU HAVE NO FUCKIN IDEA HOW I FEEL, SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP FUCKIN AROUND WITH MY LIFE! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! .. no I didn't really say that capital words to him. Although I wish I did, so I could just ran away from my house and sleeps somewhere under the sky.

So I told him.

You know what, just forget about it. Consider it never happened. Pretend I have never talked to you in the first place. Forget about the website, think of it as if it never exist. Pretend I have never even told you about the website. Don't ever come to my website again and I will never tell you anything about my life again. I'm tired, I wanna go to bed.

Then I went offline.

a little quote, rather deep

2005-06-30T11:34:00.000+10:00

Where is this love? I can't see it, I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words. - Alice, taken from the movie, Closer.

this is kinda true

2005-06-29T21:01:00.000+10:00

You Are A Maple Tree

There's not anyone in this world quite like you.

You are full of imagination, ambition, and originality.

Shy but confident, you hunger for new experiences.

You have a good memory and learn easily.

You are sometimes nervous and always complex (especially in love).

Your Birthdate: April 16

Your birth on the 16th day of the month gives a sense of loneliness and generally the desire to work alone.

You are relatively inflexible, and insist on your being independent.

You need a good deal of time to rest and to meditate.

You are introspective and a little stubborn.

Because of this, it may not be easy for you to maintain permanent relationships, but you probably will as you are very much into home and family.

This birth day inclines to interests in the technical, the scientific, and to the religious or the unknown realm of spiritual explorations.

The date gives you a tendency to seek unusual approaches and makes your style seem a little different and unique to those around you.

Your intuition is aided by the day of your birth, but most of your actions are bedded in logic, responsibility, and the rational approach.

You may be emotional, but have a hard time expressing these emotions.

Because of this, there may be some difficulty in giving or receiving affection.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

You Are 19 Years Old

19

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

becareful, be tough

2005-06-29T12:05:00.000+10:00

I didn't know those kind of stuff could come out of my mouth?! huakaka.. even though, I think that wise words came a little bit too early and I seriously think it's a bit too much also. But, anyway it's just something you need to think about, dear friend whose name cannot be published. ;)

So, the ruler of the house went back to Indo yesterday morning.. So now there's only the three of house stranded in our own house. (wth do u mean with stranded? stupid girl!) Yea, for the next 29 days, we have to cook our own meals, take the trams to school, we have to wash our own clothes, iron them.. It's bittersweet, you know, the situation. It's bitter cause I have to do all by myself and there's no one who can cook us proper meal. It's sweet cause she's not here (yea that simple). It's also bitter cause she only left me twenty friggin dollars for the rest of the month. HOW CAN I SURVIVE??? T__T dammit

I seriously need to get a job, or I'll die for sure. Maccas didn't accept me, but they accept my sister. SUREEEE stupid fast food good for nothing restaurant..

my former idol

2005-06-22T22:30:00.000+10:00

Dave Moffatt.

IS ON CANADIAN IDOL'S TOP 32!

For my dear Canadian friends.. please please please PLEASE VOTE FOR HIM! You know he's worth it! PLEASE! (Yeah, all of my Canadian friends are Moffatt fans.. Hmm Moffatts made socialize, Haha!)

same old same old

2005-06-19T15:06:00.000+10:00

I need a fuckin job!

Why does my dad thinks I waste his money? He's been nagging about my phone bills. He said my spending is way out of the budget. WHAT FUCKING BUDGET?! I only get like $100 per month, and even though my phone bill is expensive, it's still UNDER the goddamn 100 bucks! THEN PLEASE FUKKIN TELL ME WHY AM I SPENDING OVER THE BUDGET?!

If you want to blame someone about spending los of mony, blame my fat ass sister who is pregnant with a dickhead, or his fuckin wife and his step daughter who spend the money shopping and buying new clothes every week at least!

What did you say? I'm jealous? HELL YEAH I AM! I'm being treated unfairly, I didn't spend money more than them! Fucking count their expense, loser. TELL ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T BE JEALOUS OF EM?!

Fuck it.

i used to be a movie freak

2005-06-19T11:51:00.000+10:00

Put an X or make the font Bold on every movie you've seen, then write a comment next to them.

1. ( )Napoleon Dynamite
2. (x)Saw
3. ( )White Noise
4. ( )White Oleander
5. ( x)Anger Management
6. (x)50 First Dates
7. ( )Jason X
8. ( )Scream
9. ( )Scream 2
10.( )Scream 3
11.(x)Scary Movie
12.(x)Scary Movie 2
13.(x)Scary Movie 3
14.(x )American Pie
15.(x )American Pie 2
16.(x )American Wedding
17.(x)Harry Potter
18.(x)Harry Potter 2
19.(x)Harry Potter 3
20.( )Resident Evil
21.( )Resident Evil 2
22.()The Wedding Singer
23.( )Little Black Book
24.( x)The Village
25.( )Donnie Darko
26.(x)Lilo & Stitch
27.(x)Finding Nemo
28.( )Finding Neverland
29.( )13 Ghosts
30.( )Signs
31.(x)The Grinch
32.( x)Texas Chainsaw Massacre
33.(x)White Chicks
34.(x)Butterfly Effect
35.(x)Thirteen going on 30
36.(x)I, Robot
37.(x )Dodge ball
38.( )Universal S
39.(x)A Series Of Unfortunate Events.
40.( )Along Came A Spider
41.( )Deep impact
42.( )KingPin
43.(x)Never Been Kissed
44.(x)Meet The Parents
45.(x)Meet The Fockers
46.( )Eight Crazy Nights
47.(x)A Cinderella Story
48.( )The Terminal
49.(x)The Lizzie McGuire Movie
50.(x)Passport to Paris
51.( x)Dumb & Dumber
52.(x )Dumb & Dumberer
53.(x )Final Destination
54.(x )Final Destination 2
55.( )Halloween
56.( x)The Ring (RING 1, 2 & 0 PA)
57.( x)Harold & Kumar (white castle)
58.(x)Practical Magic
59.( )Chicago
60.( )Ghost Ship
61.( )From Hell
62.( x)Hellboy
63.( x)Secret Window
64.( )I Am Sam
65.(x )The Whole Nine Yards
66.(x)The Day After Tomorrow
67.( )Child's Play
68.( )Bride of Chucky
69.(x)Ten Things I Hate About You
70.(x)Just Married
71.( x)Gothika
72.( )A Nightmare on Elm Street
73.( )Sixteen Candles
74.(x )Bad Boys 2
75.( )Joy Ride
76.( x)Seven
77.()Oceans Eleven
78.()Oceans Twelve
79.( )Identity
80.( )Lone Star
81.( x)Bedazzled
82.( )Predator I
83.( )Predator II
84.( )Independence Day
85.( )Cujo
86.( )A Bronx Tale
87.(x )Darkness Falls
88.( )Christine
89.(x)ET
90.( x)Children of the Corn
91.(x)My Boss' Daughter
92.(x)Maid in Manhattan
93.( )Frailty
94.( )Best Bet
95.(x)How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
96.( )She's All That
97.(x )Calendar Girls
98.( )Sideways
99.()Mars Attacks
100( )Event Horizon
101(x )Ever After
102(x)Forrest Gump
103( )Big Trouble in Little China
104( x)X-Men 1
105(x )X-Men 2
106( )Jeepers Creepers
107(x )Jeepers Creepers 2
108(x)Catch Me If You Can
109(x)The Others
110(x)Freaky Friday
111( )Reign of Fire
112( )Cruel Intentions
113(x)The Hot Chick -
114( )Swimfan
115( )Miracle
116(x )Old School
117( )Ray
118( x)The Notebook
119( )K-Pax
120(x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
121(x)Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
122(x)Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King -
123(x)A Walk to Remember
124( )Boogeyman
125(x)Hitch
126( )Back Door Sluts 9
127( )The Fifth Element
128( )Star wars episode I
129( )Star wars episode II
130( )Star wars episode IV
131( )Star wars episode V
132( )Star wars episode VI
133( )Troop Beverly Hills
134( )Swimming with Sharks
135( )Trainspotting
136( )People under the stairs
137( )Blue Velvet
138(x)Sound of music
139(x)Parent Trap
140( )The Burbs
141( )SLC Punk
142()Meet Joe Black
143( x)Wild Girls
144( )A Clockwork Orange
145( )The Order
146(x)Spiderman
147(x)Spiderman 2
148( x)Amelie
149(x)Mean Girls
150(x)Shrek
151(x)Shrek 2
152(x)The Incredibles
153(x)Collateral
154(x)The Fast & The Furious
155( x)2 Fast 2 Furious
156( )Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow
157(x)Closer
158(x )The Sixth Sense
159()Artificial intelligence
160(x)Love actually
161( )Shutter
162( x)Ella Enchanted
163(x)Princess Diaries 1
164(x)Princess Diaries 2
165( )Spongebob Squarepants Movie

Stole this from my cousin's LJ.. hahaha..

another stolen quiz

2005-06-18T20:37:00.001+10:00

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD (OTHER THAN THIS ONE):
1. els*ght
2. xandy
3.mama

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my hair
2. my ability to make friends
3. im cute (lol)

THREE THINGS YOU HATE (can improve) ABOUT YOURSELF:
1.my eyes
2.my height
3. my family?

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Javanese
2. Chinese
3. Indonesian(???)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. being alone
2. scary movies
3. having no friends

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. sms or miscall him
2. online
3. chatting

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. glasses
2. tshirt
3. earphones

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR ARTIST THE MOMENT:
1. All American Rejects
2. Maroon 5
3. Richard Cheese

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. curl my hair
2. get a job
3. submit more works to deviant art

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (Love is a given):
1. someone that can make me laugh
2. someone who loves me for who i am
3. trust

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: (in no order, it’s more fun that way)
1. I am honest
2. I like making fun ofpeople
3. I wanna get married

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. nose
2. lips
3. somewehere around the neck

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. bungee jump
2. swim
3. grew taller

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Drawing
2. Make blog layouts and do something in photoshop
3. talking on phone

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. go back to indonesia
2. spend time with him
3. go to uni

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. graphic designer
2. web designer
3. art teacher

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Indonesia
2. Venice
3. Japan

THREE KID'S NAMES:
(what? my future kids?)
1. Livana
2. David
3. Something

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. have sex
2. get an ipod lol
3. go shopping and actually BUY SOMETING I WANT

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. Thania
2. Cornelia
3. Papapyon....

stole this

2005-06-18T20:14:00.000+10:00

103 Questions

1.Copy and Paste in your blog
2. BOLD anything true
3. Leave plain anything untrue

001. I miss somebody right now.
002. I watch more tv than I used to.
003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping.
005. I own lots of books.
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games.
008. I’ve tried marijuana... (who told you that?!)

009. I’ve watched porn movies.........
010. I have been in a threesome.
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. I believe honesty is the best policy.
013. I have acne free skin.
014. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
015. I curse frequently.
016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
017. I have a hobby.
018. I’ve been told I have a nice butt. (hahahaha)
019. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
020. I've never broken anyone else's bones.
022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
023. I love rain.
024. I’m paranoid at times.
025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
026. I need money right now.
027. I love sushi.
028. I talk really, really fast sometimes.
029. I have fresh breath in the morning.
030. I have semi-long hair.
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
033. I was born in a country outside of the Australia.
034. I shave my legs.
035. I have a twin.
037. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.
038. I like the way I look.
039. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
040. I know how to do cornrows.
041. I am usually pessimistic.
042. I have mood swings.
043. I think prostitution should be legalized.
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty/hot.
045. I have cheated on a significant other.
046. I have a hidden talent.
047. I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I think that I’m popular.
049. I am currently single.
050. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
051. I enjoy talking on the phone.
052. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
053. I love to shop.
054. I would rather shop than eat.
055. I would classify myself as ghetto.
056. I have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders. …lol hehe... (whats wrong with that?!)
057. I’m obsessed with my LJ blog!
058. I don’t hate anyone.
059. I’m a pretty good dancer.
060. I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
061. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. I have a cell phone.
063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
067. I love Doritoes.
068. I’ve rejected someone before.
069. I currently have a crush on someone.
070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
071. I want to have children in the future.
072. I have changed a diaper before.
073. I’ve had the cops called on me before.
074. I bite my nails.
075. I’m not allergic to anything deadly
076. I wear a watch.
077. I wear boxers. (to bed...)
078. I look good in speedo’s .
079. I’m afraid of water.
079. I’m afraid of dogs.
079. I’m afraid of spiders.
080. I would kill for chocolate.
081. I’ve worn a kilt.
082. I moisturize my skin.
082. I have been on a rollercoaster.
083. I have been overseas.
084. I like to dance alone in my bedroom.
085. I have thrown up in public.
086. I own a Barbra Streisand album.
087. I have a best friend.
088. I spend more than $50 on my phone in a week.
089. I fold my toilet paper. (sometimes)
090. I have beaten someone up.
091. I shower everyday.
092. I have a curfew.
093. I get along with my parents.
094. I have a lucky number.
095. I like board games.
096. I have cried in school.
097. I talk to myself.
098. I would pose for Playboy/Playgirl...
099. I would rather give presents
100. I have a TV program that I watch religiously.
101. I have a tattoo.
102. I am spoilt.
103. I have been slapped.

losing grip

2005-06-12T11:52:00.000+10:00

Today's post will be filled with song lyrics, that had been in my head all night. This how I feel.

Avril Lavigne - Losing Grip
Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?
right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you?
Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say

I was left to cry there
Waiting outside there
Grinning with a lost stare
That's when I decided

Why should I care?
Cause you weren't there
When I was scared
I was so alone
You, You need to listen
I'm starting to trip
I'm losing my grip
And I'm in this thing alone

Am I just some chick
you placed beside you
to take somebody's place?
When you turn around
can you recognize my face?
You used to love me
you used to hug me
but that wasn't the case
everything wasn't okay

I was left to cry there
Waiting outside there
Grinning with a lost stare
That's when I decided

Why should I care?
Cause you weren't there
when I was scared
I was so alone
You! You need to listen
I'm starting to trip
I'm losing my grip
and I'm in this thing alone

Crying out loud
I'm crying out loud
crying out loud
I'm crying out loud

Open your eyes
open up wide

--
Well, actually, I'm not that angry. I'm more like sad.

The Moffatts - Misery
I cry myself to sleep again tonight
'Cause I cannot hold you tight.
I wish I could see you again tomorrow
To take all this sorrow
Sorrow, I'm hollow

When I touch you
Can you feel It
When I need you
Can you give it
When I look in your eyes
Can you see me
When I fall (fall)
Will you catch me, catch me, catch me

Misery
Is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery
Is what I feel
Is what I feel
(repeat)

These tears on my face
Are there for you
I wish that I could hold you
Touch you, feel you
My heart is bleeding
Can't you see
I wish that you could hold me
Touch me, feel me

When I touch you
Can you feel it.
When I need you
Can you give it
When I look in your eyes
Can you see me
When I fall (fall)
Will you catch me, catch me, catch me

Misery
Is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery
Is what I feel
Is what I feel

random mood

2005-06-10T19:41:00.000+10:00

Obviously no one wants to love me or make me happy. NO ONE ADD ANY COMMENT ON MY BLOG!! or even tried to answer the questions i posted earlier. ARGH! You guys are pissing me off!

Oh well, I went shopping with Mel, Andy, Vicky and my step sister, (also) vicky. Yeah, like I was the most misereable one. Was like trying on stuff that I know I will never afford to buy. Hahaha.. Not funny. Cause I really like the clothes I found there. And it's a torture not to buy it. It's hell! Argh. To make things worse, my step sister is wearing a new top and a new pair of boots. ANd I was wearing some random stuff from the closet and borrowed her black halter top. How pathetic is it? I felt very embarrased. Especially when Andy offers me to buy me a jacket, I feel like.. like I'm really really pathetic, like I'm just a burden to everybody. I felt useless. I know she meant to be nice, but I feel bad. It's like I'm the one that is always depend on others. Helpless.

It makes think you know. I NEED A JOB! I desperately need a job, or I will suffer like this forever. I can see it now. Me walking in front of the shops in Bridgeroad.. Staring at the windows.. Drolling all over the clothes.. *shrugs* Maybe not that bad. But still. I need a fuckin job. Maybe I didn't try hard enough? Or maybe I should just start to kissing my dad's wife's ass.. Yeah.. That way I could get new clothes without having to wok.. hmmmm... *slaps my own face* HELL NO! remember your promise! You have to learn to be independent!

...

OK, I'll just think of something else then..

make me happy will ya?

2005-06-08T22:48:00.000+10:00

Just answer it in the comments thingy down there the '<3 me?' thingy

What am I:
1. Quiet or Loud?
2. Short or Tall?
3. Weird or Original?
4. Nice or Mean?
5. Friendly or Selfish?
6. Normal or Special?
7. Smart or Stupid?
8. Boring or Fun?
9. Pretty or Ugly?

Do you think I’m:
1. Shy?
2. Weird?
3. Crazy?
4. Cute?
5. More than a friend?
6. A good friend?
7. Conceited?
8. Attractive?

Random Questions:
1. What song reminds you of me?
2. If you could rename me… what would my name me?
3. Have u ever had a dream of me?
4. If u could GIVE me anything… what would it be?
5. If u could ASK me one last thing, what would it be?
6. If u could TELL me one last thing, what would it be?
7. Describe me in 3 words::

Everyone:
1. Have u ever had a crush on me?
2. Physically, what’s my best feature?
3. On a scale 1-10, what would u rate my personality?
4. Do u ever think of me offline?
5. Mentally what’s my best feature?
6. When u first saw me what was the first thing that came to your mind?
7. Do you wish we were closer?
8. State here your honest opinion me:

we can make it

2005-06-08T19:23:00.000+10:00

OK, the title has nothing to do with the post. lol. That's just the title of the song I am listening whil writing this post. Hehehe.. Well, I have good news: EXAMS ARE OVER!!! XD~ so hyped and excited!! YAY!! hahaha!! and I have bad news: Joyce is moving.. T_T she's my first friend here. She's funny, pretty and very... crazy. Lol. O yea, she's also very smart. Today was her last day in school. After we finish doing the GaT test (the stupid general achievement test), we all went to LaPorchetta to eat. And she told everyone that she is moving school. Actually we already know (like Lorissa and Lilian over heard Ms. Baka talking to Joyce and Helen). And I know, because she told me..well, it might be more correct to say that I force her to tell me.. ^^; Yes, I was being pushy. But that's because she and Helen kept sneaking away to the library every lunch time.

She doesn't really like the school and the school is too far from her house. I guess it's the best thing for her to move. Oh, and she said the school fee is too expensive too. I totally agree with that bit. Hmm.. well, I know we're going to miss her. She's always the loud and silly one. Oh, just thinking of her not around makes me sad. ARgh. There will be no one bullying us again, poking our arms and doing homeworks during lunch anymore! Hukz.. how sad.. I hate farewells..

Anyway, I'm thinking of dyeing my hair pink.

...

NO! I don't mean like the whole hair in my hair! Hahaha.. Just like the inside part. Yeah, I reckon that would be really cool! Lol, I just have nothing to do, and I want to do something different. :P

Exams

2005-06-03T15:30:00.000+10:00

yearp.. Finally our biggest fear is here.. lol! Yea right.. So, my year level has the mid year exams, starting this week and ends next week.. :) the worst has passed for me.. lol..

Anyway, I have a day off today, cuz none of my subjects are on today.. hehehe.. So now I'm all alone at my house, just chatting and editting photos.. lol.. I think I;m getting better at this! Hahaha.. I'm serious! :P

Ok, not much to say now.. hehehe..

It's my 16th month anniversary today.. XD~ love ya hubz!

bored as

2005-05-29T20:53:00.000+10:00

Yeah, life has been too typical..

Like always, the tseppies are fucking irritating. My school isn't any better. Argh. Exams are really stressing people out. All of my friends had gone doing homeworks and studying all day. Ckckck.. Do you think I should study too? hmm.. and what exactly can I study for? I have art subjects remember? I just need to remember the basic stuff like design elements and design principles, and I am sure I will pass all art, studio art and vis-com exams.. Hmm..

Fiona's birthday was 2 days ago. (Happy belated birthday child! ;))

So we went out for lunch at the city yesterday. Nice food in Ajisen Ramen, Japanese food! =9 hahaha.. too bad the waitress took away my food before I really finished it. They took it away while me and Manda was preparing Fiona's surprise.. That stupid people took away my ramen! argh.. Anyway, the surprise was a birthday cake (Tiramisu flavour! :D) We had lots of fun with teh cake :P The cake's cream was all over Fiona's face! lol.. Don't worry we're not that mean. And I also got cream and chocolates on my hair!!! ARGH!! After the lunch, we went to the photo studio which was opened and owned by an Indonesian company.. Hehehe.. :P That was fun heaps. But I'll tell you guys about that later. now I'm going to tell you the history of the cake. Hehehe...

So, we were planning for the cake since like 2 weeks ago, but we didn't get the cake until the last minute.. Hmm and it was almost a disaster, bcoz the cake was big and it has nothing on it! No Happy birthday text, no candles.. hmm..it just didn't look like a birthday cake at all. So when Fiona and Fadya went to Ajisen Ramen to made the tables reserved, me, manda and Pinpin went to find sumthin to write the happy bday message and candles. There was this cake shop that doesn't want to sell their candles nor their happy birthday messages. ARGH! stupid git. Well, then I have an idea to use samrties. lol. So we went to 7/11 and bought 2 pack of smarties, and decorate the cake. Lol.. Fun. We did that like in the sidewalks.. hahaha.. anyway, then we managed to bought the sparkling candles at Bread Top.

Enough about the cake.

OK, so about the photos. Yeah, we went to the studio. hehe.. they're still promoting, so it's kinda cheap.. :) Here are the photos.. The guy asked us about if he could put one of our photos on the window.. I was like YEAH!! and the others were like NO!! lol.. anyway, I just thought that would be funny.. :P

I want no exams!

2005-05-24T18:43:00.000+10:00

T_T yes I am desperate now.. Everything in school seems to be screwed right now..

Art Final piece and folio is due THIS Friday. My stupid Health Assesment task is tomorrow. I also haven't start my Studio Art research outcome.. AND I haven't memorize my lines for Drama.. Not forget to mention the LOGOS.. I seriously wanna cry.. No. I wanna DIE!!!

ARGHHH!!

I've been trying to make a summary sheet for my Health, not that I'm allowed to bring it during the test, but It's easier for me to memorize them if I make a summary or retype it in order. The problem is I don't understand a thing!!! My brain is always frozen everytime I had that word "health" in my head. My brain refuses to understand.. I just can't understand anything about this subject. Or more precisely, I don't want to understand anything. I think my brain just automatically shuts itself when it comes to health.. T_T

Anyway, I don't have to do it next semester. So, I think I don't really have to do like my best to pass the subject.

multi-coloured logo

2005-05-22T18:05:00.000+10:00

I had to make 30 logos for my vis-com outcome.. (I repeat 30 LOGOS!) And it's due prolly this Wednesday.. I've only made around 12. This is SO STRESSING! urgh.. This is one of my fave logo so far. It is suppose to be a logo for a drink company.. Jan said it looks more like a billboard type. Hehehe.. what can I say? I love colours! waddya think?

loving the new layout

2005-05-22T17:51:00.000+10:00

OK. To be honest, I didn't like my previous layout! Well, I liked it at first but now I got sick of it.. hmm.. and it's only been what? no more than a month?? blarh.. Budi was right.. the layout was really confusing. So, this is another brand new layout that I start and finished today. How do you like it? I LOVE IT! hehe.. I think it's very user friendly.. don't you think? And it's very BLUE.. *drool*

I also add some cool scripts I found in Dynamic Drive and Javascript Kit. Lol. It was fun, looking for cool stuff and in the same time, learning how to use it.. :P

Anyway, I really really want you guys to comment on this layout okay?? I found out that people didn't really browse my blog because of the stupid NON-user-friendly layout I had before.. >.<>.< Come on people! New layout is up!! Tag me!! Make me feel love will ya?

So, my life has been a little bit stressing, due to my nearly here exams and all the other SACs and outcomes. It was a nightmare. Argh, and it hasn't finished at ALL! T_T makes me wanna cry everytime I remember my art mini SAC.. or my drama outcomes.. I seriously wanna drop Drama next semester and take IT instead. Drama is killing me!!

--

We hadn't been really in touch for weeks.. :( I feel sad and alone. As always, I feel neglected and forgotten too. But well, this is the risk for being in a long distance relationship. What can I do? The only key is patience and trust. ;) aint that right, sis?

2005-05-01T14:33:00.000+10:00

ok! lol..slow update..but these are th pressies my friends gave me.. XD~ am happy..lol.. i got the photo frame from Fiona, the cute glass from Jocelyn, the rose bracelet from Martine and the blue star hair clips from Oli! thanc guys!!

stupid americans?!

2005-04-23T11:12:00.000+10:00

ARGH! did you watch the last episode of American Idol 4?? >.< they voted Anwar out! WHYY??? WHY?? :( he had always been safe.. urgh! I like his voice! He's the best singer in the idol! WHY!! stupid americans must have voted for Anthony cause of his 'cuteness'.. argh.. YOU HAVE TO VOTE FOR THE BEST FOR YOUR COUNTRY!! imagine having anthony as your idol.. wouldn';t that be a shame?? The same thing goes when they picked Nadia out.. :( so sad man!!!

2005-04-18T19:52:00.000+10:00

two me to you bears as birthday presents from my friends.. XD~ the one that is holding the number 18 was from Ronnie, and the little one is from Lilian.. ^^ thanx guys!! I already gave them names.. huehuehue... The big one is URUPYON, and I will call the little one, LIL PYON.. lol.. i am silly.. :P

2005-04-16T13:21:00.000+10:00

a birthday present from thania.. ^^

I'm legal for alcohol..

2005-04-16T12:48:00.000+10:00

lol.. yeap yeap I'M FINALLY 18!! XD~

I am both excited and worried.. :P Getting older (especially 18) means MORE responsibilities.. bleh.. But I am so thrilled to know that there's so many new things I can do now!! XD~~

Here are the list of people who congrats me this morning :D
1. OMAA!! I can't believe you were the first one to congrats me on my birthday! through SMS.. ^^ lol.. love ya omaaaa!!! :P I'm happy you were the first! hehe.. and u sent me a very nice message too.. :) Don't wotty, I'll be strong.. ;)
2. Ronnie! lol.. he congrats me through a testimonial in friendster.. it doesn't really matter though, he already give me the present last week.. XD a cute me to you bear holding the number "18".. ^^ thanx ron!
3. Randy! as known as Ottosh.. hihi.. I'm glad he remembered my birthday, even though I almost forgot his.. ^^; I think I'm a bad friend.. >.< He sent me a birthday message.. hehe..
4. Ruiiii... :D you remember! lol.. very happy and thanx for the wishes.. :P
5. Dad and her
6. FINALLY! ephie.. lol.. I feel like a fool waiting for his call or message.. :P but I'm glad at least he remember.. :) (and didn't overslept like last time) hehe..
7. Now this is my last birthday wish so far.. It's an SMS from Andrew! my step cousin.. lol.. So nice of you to remember! BIG thanx! The funny thing is, I don't even know his number.. hehe.. I was just guessing who sent me the message, but then I figured it out cuz he put his name under the message.. 'from andrew n kris' lol I thought it was from my friend in Indo.. >.< hehe..

Well, that's all.. :P it's not much.. but I feel loved.. ^^

OOO.... and there's also another testimonial birthday wishes from Thania!! (soul sister!! lol) and another one from my old friend, Ruslie.. ;)

And Jessica gave me an early birthday wish last night through phone.. And Martine also give me an early birthday wish through phone, but it was like 3 days ago.. hehe..

--

There is some things that kind of bothers me.. NONE of those girls who I thought were my best friends congrats me.. I feel sad.. But then again, no one ever really remember my birthday.. :P I'm an almost forgotten friend..

BT BT BT

2005-04-15T10:08:00.000+10:00

I started the day with a bad mood. And hopefully it won't end with the same kind of mood too.. >.< style="font-style: italic;">kinda weird. Hmm.. I feel like it's been AGES since I talked to him. Since I chat with him. Since I heard his voice (in person, through skype, through phone) I'm telling you, it's been AGES!! T_T And I am sad. *cries* Anyway, to make things a little worse, last night he made a promise to chat online this morning, today. And I don't know what exactly happen, but it was canceled. So I went to bed at 1 in the morning and woke up at 9 for nothing. T_T I got up, went online, and he wasn't there. That makes me even sadder. Then I got back to sleep, and he messaged me. He said that he couldn't get online, blablabla. Yeah. And that makes me misereable. Seriously, it does. T_T I can't even spend my holiday with you!! *cries more*

Wanna know how much money I got? None. Seriously, I am broke. I only get like $100 per month, and I spend 80% of it to pay my phone bill. Usually my bill doesn't get bigger than $100, but this month, it's a different story. I HAD TO PAY $129!! Where am I going to have the money? Well, my dad is going to cut it out of my allowance for sure. But he's already cutting it off. Meaning: My next allowance is less than $100. How crueler can the world be? SHIT! T_T I literally only have like coins and Indonesian Rupiahs in my wallet. Poor girl, poor me. T_T

Social life? It's in an average stage I think.. I feel a little left out, now they are doing new and different stuff from me.. See, I know how you feel..

Geez.. I'm complaining too much.. But I feel better now. =p

That's my energy meter for today. Based on the horoscope stuff in firendster. Doesn't look good does it? Yea well, I don't feel good either. Maybe this meter thingy is for real?

promoting skills

2005-04-12T13:26:00.000+10:00

To all the loyal people who still reads my blog even though it's full of crap!! :P
I need your help to promote my new site: Photokicho!
Tell all your friends about photokicho! Where you can find superb designs for your journals!
Let all your friends get their self portrait picture in manga style! (and in a reasonable price too ;))
Photokicho!! Photokicho!! Photokicho!! Photokicho!! Photokicho!! Photokicho!! Photokicho!!

--

Okay, I tried to apply to Google-ads today.. >.< Can't wait til I get another feedback from them..

--

Hhh.. I really really really want to get a computer's tablet.. >.< style="font-style: italic;">parents doesn't want to spend another money on me. What a family.. *scoffs*

2005-04-11T18:10:00.000+10:00

*drools* isn't he cute?? lol.. he looks embarassed.. XD~

Stupid crams and Comic hotties

2005-04-11T14:27:00.000+10:00

Argh!! I just finished reading Parfait Tic scanlations in Manga Project! T_T it is so sad to see such pretty boy like Ichii do stupid things towards the girls she likes!! DAMMIT!! I am so STRESSED! I need to know what happened!! T_T Manga project hasnt got the scanlations for the next chapter! CRAP! T_T I really really really need to know what will happen next!! ICHII!!!!! I AM OBSSESED! T^T OMG.. can't wait for the next chapter.. * making stupid fuuko expression* I've decided!! I will have my next layout..ICHII BASED! lol..

Anyway.. PHOTOKICHO is very succesful *big grin* hehehe.. soon I will making money from here... fufufu.. *big grin turns to evil grin*

Geez.. this holiday makes me feel more nerdy.. To be in front of the computer everyday.. :P Though I know, I'm not doing much of school-work.. Hell I don't even start doing another research for the oral topic..T_T I don't want to get back to school.. T_T

And this cram is almost killing me.. >.< I am in so much pain.. Huaaaaa!!!! Need my Ichii to be here.. As in I need ephie.. *blush*

*sigh sigh sigh* <- is it possible to do that? :P

New Layout

2005-04-05T13:50:00.000+10:00

Humm.. I changed the layout.. Like it? I know it's alittle bit dodgy.. I might make a new version of this one and change it again.. hmm blarh.. Meanwhile you just have to bare with this one. :P hehehe...